- 9 years ago
- Wedding: October 2012
1) I wanted a recommendation from a friend of mine for acceptance into a leadership development class that could be helpful to my career and my volunteer work. I sent her an email 3 days ago. To my shock, she turned me down cold 4 minutes later. When I responded and asked her why she would refuse to recommend me, I got no response. Last night before bed I did a cursory email check, and to my utter surprise and dismay, there was an email from her detailing why she turned me down. Her email explained that “our level of intimacy is different since I derided her to others”. I have NO idea what she is talking about. She then goes on to say that she is sure we can remain friendly. For background, this is a person that I see socially in my town everywhere. She is also in my bookclub. We have many mutual friends. When she got married last year, I was invited (and attended and brought lovely gifts) to her engagement party, lingerie shower, bachelorette, and wedding. Now I am in the awkward position of having sent a save the date to a person that has just effectively broken up with me as a friend… and who I am no longer interested in being friends with. Because, really… who does that?!? Wow!
2) I got a facebook email from my Future Sister-In-Law telling me that her daughter (14yr old) does not like the example hostess dress that I sent to her and my FCIL (who has a 14yr old also that will be a hostess). Background: when Fiance and I announced our engagement both girls piped up and asked to be in the wedding. I had intended a small wedding party of 3 BMs and 3GMs but soon wound up with a RB, Flower Girl, and 2 hostesses as well. I talked to both moms and asked their help to find a dress that would work for them. After a month passed (we are now 70+ days from the wedding), I had found a simple dress (frock, ink sleeves, belted) in the wedding color (magenta) at JC Penney for 20$. I sent it as an example to prompt them into picking something that would work. My Future Sister-In-Law wrote that her daughter wants to wear something strapless or with a cold shoulder…”you know teenagers!” Wth? I am the only person at my (cocktail, outdoor) wedding in the wedding party who will be wearing a strapless dress, thank you. No racily dressed teens at my wedding — that can wait until the school dance. And why am I hearing from you what your daughter would like without your help finding it? When I called her to tell her that a cold shoulder is fine, a strapless not fine, and that I would like her help finding something that works (especially since it took weeks to get a response), she said that “she doesn’t know the color, can’t see from the monitor, not sure”… basically a bunch of hemming and hawing. I need her help to get this done! It was at that point that I realized I had asked for her to be looking several times and gotten non-committal answers. So I told her that I didn’t intend to spend a bunch of time on hostess dresses and that it would be much easier to tick this off the to do list with her help because 2 heads are better than one.
If that doesn’t work, then they can wear whatever, whether it matches the wedding party or not, and I will pin a corsage on it and call it day. Damn! Finding the Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses wasn’t this hard. When I asked them to look, they obliged (btw, I found their dresses online too – 79$ at Macy’s gooooo bargain hunter!)
Sooo today has started off not so hot. Feeling frustrated at things not going my way in my interactions with others. Trapped in my office with nothing to snack on and no pillow to bite!!! Grrrr!