(Closed) Angry – What would you do? Confront his new gf?

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
7371 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Umm sweetie, more than likey she knows. Move on. 

Post # 3
2055 posts
Buzzing bee

Walk away, I know it hurts but you will just be dragging yourself down if you get in the middle of his new relationship.  Channel your energy into creating a better you.  Walk, go to the gym, do yoga, meet up with friends and say Good Riddance!!

Post # 4
2680 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012 - Southern California

You will look like the crazy ex if you confront her, despite whatever may or may not be true. Be mad, be angry, and never speak to or associate yourself with your ex (that includes stalking IG)! I’m sorry you are in this situation though & I hope you are able to move on & eventually find a man that will never let you go, nevermind lie and cheat on you!!

Post # 5
1167 posts
Bumble bee

Tough call Bee. 

On one hand, it’s so satisfying to have our revenge against cheaters.  On the other hand, I don’t really condone to this type of behavior. 

So, in sum, I’m torn on what advice to give you.  All I can think of is a compromise. 

I would screenshot those IG photos, and send them to him.  Tell him that you do not appreciate being the “back up” girl, that being led on is wrong and it made you feel like a plaything.  Also acknowledge that he has hurt you and that you’ve had enough.  Let him know that he will be blocked from your phone and that you are MOVING ON.

Second, I would message this girl on her IG and let her know that if she wants to find out the true nature of the man she’s seeing, that she should call you.  With this message, send her the latest text from your ex (her BF) as a screenshot.  Let this be a one time thing, and if she doesn’t reply, then leave it alone.  You’ve done your part for her and if she doesn’t want/appreciate the help, then that’s on her now.  MOVE ON from this. 

I hope that was helpful Bee.  I would suggest some deep breathing to calm down.

Post # 6
47203 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

mimiMobile:  Back away from the EX boyfriend. He is an ex for many good reasons. Life your own life and leave them alone.

Post # 7
2573 posts
Sugar bee

Why are you even giving this loser the time of day?walk away and forget he even existed he is obviously playing you both.


Post # 8
600 posts
Busy bee

I agree with both PP.  She probably knows and is either okay with it or blindly ignoring it. Don’t waste anymore time on him, he’s not worth it and maybe she’ll see that on her own. She’s not likely to thank you for the info, too often people shoot the messenger

Post # 9
533 posts
Busy bee

For what it is worth, I would want to know if I were her. However, I have been told more than once that my take on social situations is not typical.

If this is about revenge only and not trying to warn his latest victim. I say leave it be.

If you do decide to warn her, be prepared for her not to believe you.

Sorry about your situation and how you were treated.  Cut off all contact with him and block him on all media. I found it helps to do a massive cleaning and then go get a haircut and makeover.


Post # 10
558 posts
Busy bee

mimiMobile:  Delete social media. It’s toxic and allows to be distracted from things that don’t matter. Get on with your life and meet someone who values you and your relationship

Post # 11
1205 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

mimiMobile:  Not going to lie, I was a little confused by who cheated on who and all the details. Even being confused, I can tell you that the best option is to cut ties and be done with him. He wants to have his cake and eat it too. You are allowing him to do so by going back and giving him more and more chances. This is not the behavior of a man who loves you. This is the behavior of an immature jerk who is playing you. You won’t be doing anyone any favors by trying to get in touch with the other woman to to explain what’s going on. She’ll find out soon enough because once you are gone, he’ll find another woman to cheat with. You deserve better and you won’t be able to see that clearly until he is completely gone. No contact, cut him completely out of your life.

Post # 12
3307 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Confront the new gf? Only if you want to look like a bathing crazy jealous person. Like it or not the new gf has nothing to do with the situation you’re in. Your ex made it very clear months ago that he was looking outside your relationship for companionship. You chose to ignore this and give him deadlines to be faithful again, a move clearly destined for failure. Face it: it’s over and any energy you expend on this guy is wasted.

Post # 13
3451 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

I would leave it alone. You say you don’t want him to get away with what he did, but what if you tell her and nothing comes of it and nothing happens? Then you’re just the crazy ex who “can’t move on”. He has taken enough of your time and energy as it is. Focus on yourself and of bringing positive things into your life rather than bringing negative things into other people’s lives. She will figure out on her own what kind of man he is (or isn’t).

Post # 14
2253 posts
Buzzing bee

Yeah, just move on, like the first commenter said. 

He’s a pig, and the healthiest thing to do with a guy like him is to cut off all contact and not look back. He’s not going to change, as far as his relationship with you is concerned. He’s going to keep playing games, because he likes the drama.

In some cases I would say, “Yes, tell the other woman what’s going on”, but in cases like yours I think that would only lead to more trouble. I think he would like it and revel in it, and you don’t need to give him that satisfaction. 

Move on and don’t look back. If you get with him again, that’s all on you, girl, because you know what’s going to happen.

ETA: Seriously, don’t choose to be treated badly.

Post # 15
6379 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2009 - New York, NY

Walk away.  Let her figure him out on her own.

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