(Closed) Angry/feel bad about Kingy and girls nights (LONG)

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 4
Member
5179 posts
Bee Keeper

oh man…this is a terrible situation. I can say, my ex was like that. He included me wherever he was going with his friends and expected me to do the same. I like one on one time with my friends, especially my girls. Afterall, they are also in relationships with me and all relationships need fostering. I ignored my ex and did more and more things with just my friends. AND NOW HES AN EX lol. This is going to be very difficult.. and I don’t know that I have any advice. My Fiance always encourages me to go out with my girls…he knows we need our time just like he needs his boy time. Maybe it is a difference in culture? Maybe explain to him that they are all leaving their guys at home.. and he would feel strange talking about shoes the whole night?

Post # 5
Member
713 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Yeah – I feel the same way sometimes. My Fiance is a little older and his close friends are married with kids. So we always hang out together. But then most of my female friends just want to see me on my own!

I think you should continue explaining to him that you really want to have a girls night and promise that it won’t happen all the time. Then plan to spend lots of time with him on the weekend.

Post # 6
Member
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

My Fiance has always squawked at me for not hanging out with friends without him.  In fact, I’ve been invited to game nights hosted by one of his best friends and he fusses because I don’t go!!!  

You need girl time, he needs guy time.  Maybe while you and the girls go out, your guys can go out.  As in, your Fiance goes out with your girls’ bf/fi’s?  That way, you’re all out having fun and no one is left out?

Just a thought!

good luck and have fun!!!!

Post # 7
Member
2154 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I think it’s a bit weird that he doesn’t want you to hang out with your friends without him. It sounds to me like he’s overreacting a bit. But that’s just me and I don’t know him. What do you think?

Post # 8
Member
4547 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I agree that you need time with just the girls and he needs time with just the guys. You need to sit down and talk with him and explain that it’s important to have a girl’s night once in awhile. It’s very healthy and he needs to be ok with that.

Post # 9
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Its hard moving to a new place and not knowing anyone or having many friends. So is definitely understandable that he is being more clingy than usual. Just explain to him that this is a one in a while thing. He can watch a movie, go on the internet or do something else by himself at home while you go out.

Post # 12
Member
4547 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@kingytobe: I can sympathize with him and feeling like he’s being left out, but it’s really only one night. I agree with you that it’s important to have well balanced lives

Post # 12
Member
713 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I think he probably just has to get used to you hanging out with the girls sometimes. I would suggest to go out and have fun, but call it an early night this time around. Hopefully that’ll help him realize that he’s still important to you. And are you guys planning to have kids after marriage? Because you could use the argument that “I won’t be able to do this for much longer if we want to have babies!!”

Post # 13
Member
405 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011 - Mackinaw Valley Vineyard; Bloomington Center for the Performing Arts

I could see him being upset if you left him out of a lot of things, but it sounds like you spend a lot of time together.  This is one night.  It’s healthy to have lives outside of just each other.  Perhaps there is something you can do to make sure he doesn’t feel completely left out or worried about your friends having guys all around them.  Could you have him go to dinner and leave afterward so you can do girl things?  Or leave the night a little early so he’s not spending the whole night alone?  Or send him texts/check on him every once in a while to make sure he knows you’re thinking about him?

I don’t really have a good answer, but I hope he realizes this is a good thing for your relationship and not your way of leaving him out of things.

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