(Closed) anniversary

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
3305 posts
Sugar bee

Sorry to hear- hope it comes soon.

Post # 4
Member
3587 posts
Sugar bee

((hugs))) I don’t have any advice, but to just stay positive and try to focus on something, anything else than feeling disappointed. I totally get how you feel. (I have a milestone b-day coming up as well as a trip planned, but I know it’s not happening, but I try to ignore the thoughts I have about it. Hard, but oh,well.)

Post # 5
Member
3296 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - An amazing non-profit retreat

OP- I completely understand. My SO is the same way. It has to be paid for upfront, no credit or layaway nonsense. In the long run, we win for having such practical men, but argh I know how frustrating it can be!

Post # 7
Member
797 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

Wow, that’s a lot of weddings for one summer!

I’m sorry you’re feeling down, but since you already knew it wasn’t going to happen it seems like you are getting a lot of pressure from your friends.  I’m sure at least SOME of them know what it’s like to be a waiting lady and should know that it’s hard enough waiting without other people waiting for it, too.

I completely agree with what MsMamaBear said, stay positive.  I also have an anniversary coming up (3 years) in which I know my bf isn’t going to propose, but he has some secret dinner date planned so while I’m suspicious, I’m trying to just focus on  how nice the evening will be rather than expecting a ring.

 

Good luck to you and SMILE just cause you can Laughing

Post # 8
Member
2195 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I was in a similar situation last year. We went to 9 weddings all over the country, live together, and had been dating for 4 years (5 in November). Every time a big event came, I was definitely expecting a ring…but it didn’t happen. In fact, his best friend proposed to his gf on my birthday…but nothing for me! It’s definitely hard to see past that, and I TOTALLY understand!! It happened on a random rainy morning in March when I totally wasn’t expecting it, and honestly, I think it was better that way! Good luck!! It will happen, it is just going to be on his terms (which is super hard for most of us bees!!).

Post # 9
Member
2523 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I’m sorry you felt/feel so self-conscious about it! It’s always a tough situation to wait, especially when your mind is made up and it begins to hurt to wait! Everything will work out in the end, though. Congratulations on your anniversary…have you talked to him recently about it?

Post # 10
Member
23 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Hey – you’re gonna make it through! Waiting is so, so tough (trust me, I’m right there with you) and I’m sure all those upcoming weddings aren’t making it any easier. Just keep firm in your belief that it will happen someday. You never know what he could have up his sleeve!

Post # 12
Member
108 posts
Blushing bee

whoa. your BEST FRIEND is getting married on YOUR BIRTHDAY? i hope it was the only day she could get the venue, since she knows you’re waiting and having a wedding to attend on your bday will muck up any plans you had. maybe my capitalization was a little over the top as a reaction, but i can see why you would be upset. if it helps, pick a different day to call your birthday for this year (the day you can actually celebrate it on).

Post # 13
Member
3461 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I disagree, I don’t think other people are obligated to avoid dates of friends (even best friends).  Add up family members, childhood and best friends on both sides and you black out a lot of options.  You can’t just avoid a date on the potential that someone *might* propose then.  Think of all the waiting bees disappointed because it didn’t happen on the day they thought it would.  I do like the idea to pick a new bdate this year.

Post # 15
Member
3296 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - An amazing non-profit retreat

I just thought of something. Because you are not getting married at the same time as your friends, your wedding is going to stand out on its own. It’s not about attention, but when weddings are so clumped together like that they tend to be a bit less special. I know last summer I got tired of seeing wedding after wedding. They kind of blurred together, you know? 

Post # 16
Member
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@smi5002:  Wow!  If I didn’t know better, I’d think we were dating the same guy.  LOL!  My guy will not consider financing a ring or getting me something a little less expensive.  And he’s also not in a rush.  However, I know it will happen so, like you, I’ve kept wedding talk to a minimum (he brings it up more than I do) and have thrown myself into work, grad school, family and friends.  I don’t sit at home pre-planning our wedding anymore because, quite frankly, it was just making more crazy.  When I need a “wedding fix” I just flip on David Tutera or Rich Bride Poor Bride and then keep it moving.  Also, I’ve stopped saving every penny for our wedding and started spending a little on me (because I AM worth it…lol).  A week or so ago I posted about being frustrated because my guy (who’s supposed to be saving for my ring) keeps spending money on other crap and it made me feel like our engagement/marriage was not a priority.  SO, I started making ME a priority until we are engaged.  It’s helped a lot and made me less snippy towards him.

Hope this helps.  Know that you are not alone. Wink

 

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