(Closed) Announcing cheques at Shower

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
3942 posts
Honey bee

No, very rude.

Post # 4
7901 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

That’s weird. When I open monetary or gift card gifts around others, I always look at the person and say thank you, but keep the details to myself (or quietly and discretely show the amount to the person making the thank you card list).

Post # 5
1238 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Yeah, I agree with you, but I can also kind of see that they were announcing the gift, because there wasn’t a physical gift to see. Still…

sounds like a nice Bridal Shower. at mine, half of my Aunts arrived with nothing but snacks. No card or gift, I was a bit bummed (because I like cards, at least)

Post # 6
11233 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Um. Awkward. Obviously that bride doesn’t know what tact and grace is. 

Post # 8
3265 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

Ohhh wow. That’s incredibly rude.

Post # 9
3885 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think this is actually done— and accepted— in some circles, especially those where there’s a good mix of checks and physical gifts, like unwrap a box and the hostess marches the gift around on display saying “And Aunt Sophie gave a bread maker!!!”

Not to my own personal tastes, but I think it’s common enough in some social circles and cultures that I wouldn’t find it offensive or even raise an eyebrow.  Especially with showers, it’s all about how your family/friends usually do things.

Post # 10
5956 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

Oh how appalling…way to make the people that could only manage $25 feel like total losers.

Post # 11
2192 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Horrible.  Its one thing for the gift give(still tacky) to volunteer the information i.e. Aunt Sally wants the recognition for a generous gift and says it, but for the bride to ok that?  No, thanks.

Post # 12
7649 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

That’s terrible. DH’s mom wanted us to open our cards in front of the whole family the day after the wedding and we said no. She was really unhappy because she said we would hurt his grandparent’s feelings by not opening the card, but we did not want to deal with people asking how much we go and all that. We told her if she wanted to read the cards she can come over and read them. It’s been 6 months and she could care less now.

Post # 13
2652 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Catholic Church

@Stressed_Bride15:  A little awkward and definitely not tactful. At ours we just announced “money”, no amounts, and I discreetly let my Maid/Matron of Honor know the name and how much for the thank you cards.

Post # 14
7 posts
  • Wedding: April 2013

I would feel mortified if someone did this to me.  I don’t want that known to other people.  

Post # 15
11418 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

Oh my. That is completely inappropriate. At my shower, and others that I’ve attended, boxed and bagged gifts (i.e non-cash, non-check, non-gift-card gifts) were announced (and, in some cases, passed around the room.)  However, when brides opened cards with gift cards, only the fact that the gift was a gift card was announced (no mention of monetary value), and money (cash and checks) may have been mentioned as being the gift, but there was never a mention of the amount. 

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