(Closed) Announcing Engagement after a Death in the Family

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: What should I do?

    Tell people this week and then defer comments at the funeral until later

    Keep it in wraps until an appropriote amount of time has passed after the service

  • Post # 3
    3968 posts
    Honey bee

    @Future_Mrs_Fierce:  If your aunt had not passed, how would you have let the knews break to your extended family?

    Post # 5
    3968 posts
    Honey bee

    @Future_Mrs_Fierce:  I wouldn’t change your game plan and would just call or email as you would have normally.  Putting it off til after the funeral seems strange.  Since you wouldn’t really see them anytime soon, to call them shortly after seeing them with the news doesn’t seem right.  At the funeral, you would have entertained regular ‘how are you’ type questions (with or without the ring).  I’d just be subdued about it – vs. running up to everyone with your hand out 😉 which, given the fact you are posting about it, strikes me that you would be respectful about the way you go about sharing.  You also don’t have to tell EVERYONE if it doesn’t come up in conversation.  Word will get around.  And, if I was your Uncle, I’d be happy for you, even at a sad time.

    Post # 7
    4134 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

    I agree that it doesn’t really make sense to put it off. You are engaged, so why shouldn’t they know? I’d just send an e-mail, and then wear the ring to the funeral and not make a big deal out of it

    Post # 8
    197 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I think people at the funeral will notice a ring on your finger, and then get all crazy happy for your, and the fever will catch on.  I guess it really depends on your family and culture.  In some cultures funerals are really for mourning, and in some they are more for celebrating the life.  If you were my cousin, I would want to know ASAP, even if it were my own mother that died.  It would be a nice distraction from the sadness.

    Post # 10
    2144 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I dunno, I’m not sure I would tell, but I have strict Victorian rules when it comes to mourning.


    This is a time to mourn, find closure and come together as a family. Yes, you have every right to be happy but a man lost the love of HIS life and I think that should be the focus. Her life and his. 


    If people ask simply tell them yes you are engaged but out of respect you were going to let everyone know after the services.

    The topic ‘Announcing Engagement after a Death in the Family’ is closed to new replies.

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