(Closed) Announcing our engagement days prior to a 1st birthday – good or bad idea?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
2792 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

 

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JessieFay13:  I’d be very surprised if anyone cares about your engagement that much – although obviously Bees have proven me wrong in the past considering there is always talk about thunder stealing around here. IME it is just not that important to anyone else to warrant more than a passing congratulations and maybe asking when the wedding will be. Announce it now. 

Post # 4
Member
4044 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

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JessieFay13:  I’d announce it now on facebook. To be honest, I think you may be thinking people are going to be  making a bigger deal out of your engagement than they will be. When we saw people after ours, we got “hey congrats!” and people moved on. 

I also think 1st birthday parties are ridiculous (but thats a whole other topic…). I don’t think the kid or parents will be offended. 

Post # 5
Member
6345 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

Announce now. These thunder stealing ideas are always so silly to me. That kid isn’t even going to understand it’s his first birthday party anyway. 

Post # 6
Member
7923 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

You are better off announcing it a few days ahead of the party versus having it become news at the party. If your friends are offended–well, then they need to expand their horizons. Every single day includes the possibility of something to celebrate or something to mourn. We should all choose to celebrate everything we can. We are capable of enough happiness and joy to accommodate it all. 

Post # 7
Member
5995 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

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JessieFay13:  Definitely announce it prior to the party, especially since some of the other friends know.

The party is a day, not a whole week. You’re allowed to announce your engagement the week before the party.

Post # 9
Member
312 posts
Helper bee

Just announce it now. You don’t want the friends hosting the party to feel like the last ones to find out. Plus, people are going to congratulate you then move on, the party will now become about you. 

Post # 10
Member
8373 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

The two events have absolutely nothing to do with each other, so there should be no expectation whatsoever that you would delay making your announcement simply because a friend’s child’s birthday party will be held a few days later.

Post # 11
Member
499 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

I can’t imagine it being a problem if the guests take a minute to congratulate you. I am sure the baby boy will get lots of attention either way. He will not even notice. Just don’t make the whole day about you two. But you don’t seem like people who would do that, so, the problem is just in your head. Congratulations to your engagement!

Post # 13
Member
8382 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

If people congratulate you at the party, just say thanks. Saying “thanks, but we’re here to celebrate the kid’s birthday” sounds really self-important and holier-than-thou. It makes it seem like you think it was douchy of them to stop thinking about the kid for 30 seconds, when really they were just being nice. And it would sound like you’re making a big deal of taking what you see as the high road because you assume the mom can’t handle people talking about something other than her special snowflake for a few minutes. Not flattering to her. Just say thanks. Maybe “thanks, we’re really excited.” Something normal like that. Also, there is no “thunder” for a first birthday party. It’s not a surprise or anything unexpected. Your friend was mistaken in thinking there was anything wrong with telling people you’re engaged. You shouldn’t do it AT someone else’s party, but otherwise it’s not a big deal. Congratulatios and have fun planning!

Post # 14
Member
473 posts
Helper bee

It’s a birthday party. It lasts for part of one day. That is the time that it gets. You are stealing no one’s thunder to announce now. There really isn’t any thunder with birthday parties. Not even with sweet 16, or 21, or 50.

In fact, I don’t think there’s thunder in many occasions at all. I mean, planning your wedding the same day as somebody else is getting married, okay, but other than that I tend to think people need to lighten up. 

Post # 15
Member
6345 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

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JessieFay13:  Totally agreed in regards to the 1st birthday parties. I like going in order to play with the kids and whatnot, but a lot of parents go TOTALLY overboard! I went to one last year (for twins) and it was seriously like a wedding reception. They booked a venue, had over 100 guests…it was crazy! It was the grandfather that threw the party. It was his first set of grandchildren so I get that he was excited, but those poor kids had no idea what was going on. And with so many people there they were pretty frightened/confused most of the time. 

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