(Closed) Announcing pregnancy to stepdaughter, please help!

posted 7 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
2651 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Why don’t you take them somewhere neutral, like a resturant, and tell them both together.  Mention to the waitress that you are planning on telling your stepdaughter that shes gonna be a big sister.  That way if Ex acts up, there would be witnesses to show that you did not provoke it, + if Darling Husband decides he wants costody of SD, witnesses are always a good thing

Post # 5
Member
635 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Would the ex’s parents break the news to her while you have your SD with you for Christmas? The ex will find out at some point, and it really shouldn’t be from her own daughter given that she’ll react badly. It sounds like you’re very protective of your SD, which is great, so find a way to let the ex know that doesn’t involve the child.

 

 

Post # 6
Member
71 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I know Christmas probably seems like a great opportunity to break the news, but I would caution against sharing the news on that day, for a couple of reasons. First of all the holidays can be rough for some folks and crazy ex might be extra more difficult to deal with on Christmas. Second, Christmas is a big exciting day for a little kid. She might be confused or sad or worried about her relationship with her dad. Why try to do that on Christmas, which is a pretty intense day already? I would make it a special occasion a few days after Christmas and take her to lunch or something. Good luck though!

Post # 7
Member
2755 posts
Sugar bee

@Moja Milosc: Honestly, I’m very VERY concerned for SD by the way you’ve described her mother’s behaviour toward her. Children need to be with their mothers to a point. If that mother is being abusive, then something needs to change. Dragging her by the arm, screaming at her, making her feel bad, making things up about her father to scare her… those are all in the realm of serious emotional trauma to me, and I am genuinely concerned for her safety and well-being, based on what you’ve described. There isn’t any way you can get some kind of children’s services involved to at least help mediate the situation?

Post # 8
Member
2512 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@MissCalifornia: I agree. I think your husband needs to call children’s aid to monitor her behaviour.

 

Post # 10
Member
2321 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Ouch! That’s a difficult situation to be in. The only person I feel bad for here is the SD. No one needs a bad parent. That is truly worse than having no parents at all. 

As for telling the SD, I would go ahead and do it. Then however way her mom reacts, you can try to get sole custody of SD, or at the very least, be able to file a complaint with child services.

Divorce laws are biased almost everywhere in North America. Sad but true.

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