(Closed) annoyed

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I say you have the right to be upset, but that could just be me bc the EXACT same thing is happening to me…weird!

People have suggested to me to just leave it alone and hopefull they will come around. If you sister is anything like mine though, she wont….so honestly…i should not have posted bc i dont have an answer! *laugh*

Post # 4
13099 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I’d try to coordinate with her and explain that you understand that its her Darling Husband birthday but that you’d also like to be able to spend time with your Maid/Matron of Honor on the day before your wedding.  Maybe you can split it up so that she spends half the day with you and half the day with him.

Post # 5
5784 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

I’m on her side on this one. A mani-pedi may be fun but I wouldn’t miss my husband’s birthday for it. Can you go for brunch together in the morning?

Post # 7
1580 posts
Bumble bee

I picked my date to avoid birthdays, so your sister could have the same thoughts as you (“She could have picked any weekend for her wedding, but she had to pick DH’s birthday weekend”)

Are you not doing a rehearsal dinner with everyone?

I’m not doing anything specifically with my girls the day before, but I am planning on having a nice spread and champagne for the morning of the wedding as a nice way to spend time together, relax, and get ready.

Post # 8
612 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

You have a right to be upset that she may not be there the day before your wedding, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t have a right to spend her day celebrating her Darling Husband birthday.  You chose to miss out on things when you were her Bridesmaid or Best Man, that does not mean she has to do the same for you.  If you want to do something with your girls the night before plan an old school slumber party and let your sister know that she is wlecomed to attend whatever part of it she can and that you know she wants to spend the day with her Darling Husband, but that you hope she can come by for a few minutes to spend with you.

Post # 9
273 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

i would talk to her and see if you can get a compromise.  it’s his birthday and they’re already not participating in his family’s tradition for your wedding.  can you have a slumber party with your other bridesmaids?

Post # 10
2775 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

If she’s attending your rehearsal and rehearsal dinner on Friday and spending the wedding day with you on Sunday, I think you need to let her off the hook for Saturday.  I think it is totally reasonable and understandable that she wants to spend her husband’s birthday with her husband.

Post # 11
2641 posts
Sugar bee

I’m inclined to let this slide.  I might have the wrong impression on some things.  So maybe you can clarify. 

1.  Just because you are having your wedding on Sunday, doesn’t mean your BMs have to be roped into doing what you want to do all weekend (F, Sa, Su).

2.  I like the idea of you and Fiance spending the night before the wedding apart.   But not wanting to spend the night alone, also shouldn’t dictate that your BMs have to spend the night.  I think a slumber party is great.  But even if there wasn’t a SO’s b-day, I wouldn’t make big expectations to have the Bms sleep over.  Some ppl don’t sleep well in other places, or on the floor or couch etc.

3.  Is there a good reason why you chose the weekend of your BIL’s birthday?  I’m not saying that is terrible.  But if I was your sister, I might be more understanding of the date, if it was somehow the only convenient weekend for you.  If you selected this date, when there were a good selection of other dates, I wouldn’t be as accommodating.


Post # 12
2186 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

i think you should cut her some slack – yes its your day.. but its just that, your DAY not weekend.

it hurts, but its not like you didnt know it was her husband’s birthday.

think about it this way, would you forego your new husband’s birthday ritual that you probably have been doing for a while for a mani-pedi? husband comes first….*shrugs*

Post # 14
1833 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

This is slightly off-topic but you mentioned that you didn’t want to get your nails done on Friday because they always chip. I never get manicures for the same reason, but recently got a new type of manicure called OPI Axxium gel manicure. It lasted for a full month without chipping (no exaggeration) and didn’t ruin my nails when I got it removed. I’d look into seeing if any of the salons near you do this type of manicure so you can get it done with your sister on Friday. It’s a bit more expensive (probably +$40) but I got mine in NYC so that estimation might be a bit high. I think its worth the money, especially for your wedding, since it will definitely last through your wedding weekend and honeymoon. 


This is slightly off-topic but just a suggestion. What about spending the night with your parents? I don’t know what type of relationship you have with them, but they could be very emotional over “giving” their girl away so it might be special to spend the night with them since you will be so busy the day of, that way you have some real quality time with them. 

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