(Closed) annoyed and frustrated..

posted 12 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
7 posts
  • Wedding: December 1969

I thought i had crazy cousin issues about my wedding !!


That’s got to feel awful, I hated when I moved away all of my friends moved on too and Every time we would talk after it just wasn’t the same.

Have you tried to tell them how your feeling? I would  just ask them to be there and tell them it would mean so much..

Post # 4
1760 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Don’t be sorry for venting!  That’s what this is for.  And I’m not sure that you’re overreacting here, but I tend to be sensitive.  I think the fact that you’re far away may complicate things but that doesn’t mean they can’t include you in their travel plans.  Even if you can’t go, and even if they know you can’t go, they can at least talk to you about it.  I think anyone would feel left out, and that sucks!  In regards to the wedding, I’d talk to them now.  I think this is a situation that calls for being direct.  Ask them if they still plan on coming and let them know how much it means to you to have them there.  If they care, they’ll be in Italy and any other travel plans will have to be coordinated around it.  Besides, who doesn’t wanna go to Italy for a wedding??  lol.  Good luck with it all.  I hope when you bring it to their attention they realize they’ve been handling things wrong and change their ways.

Post # 6
433 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2022

I think it would be good to tell them how you are feeling. I’m not sure that I would say “honorary bridesmaids.” I know there are a lot of different feelings on this, but my personal opinion is that if I’m not “good enough” to stand up for you at your wedding, I wouldn’t want to be an honorary bridesmaid. To me, it sounds like an excuse that if you give them that title, they will feel more obligated to come. 

I 100% understand why you aren’t having them as bridesmaids– I definitely get it. But instead of giving them that “title” I would call them or email them and let them know exactly how you are feeling. i would let them know that you think of them like sisters and you really miss them. Say you are sorry that you are missing out on the girls trips that they are planning, and hopefully after the wedding, you could travel to the States and join them one time. And tell them that you decided not to make them bridesmaids because you didn’t want them to feel obligated to buy dresses and shoes and participate in showers, etc after you knew they would be traveling that far, etc etc. Explain it to them- could it be that they are a little hurt that you didn’t ask them, so maybe they haven’t confirmed if they are coming?

And then at the end of the email, maybe you could ask them if they are coming. Tell them that it would meant he world to you to have them by your side, and if they are planning ot make the trip over, you wanted to start making some plans for you guys, like maybe a “bridal luncheon” where you could honor your friends and perhaps the other women who are traveling to be with you. And you could do a girls dinner or wine tasting in the days before the wedding (because I assume they wouldn’t come for just a weekend). 

I would definitely reach out to them. By NOT confronting the issue, you are allowing for time to pass where they might be making other plans, etc, because they don’t know how you really feel.

The topic ‘annoyed and frustrated..’ is closed to new replies.

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