(Closed) annoyed and need to vent!

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Mothers can be crazy. Do you have an otherwise good relationship with your mom?

Post # 5
Member
46670 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I hope you feel better for having a place to vent.

Post # 7
Member
424 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I don’t really have any advice, but from my experience people aren’t themselves when it comes to weddings.  People who never had opinions into my life before, suddenly had them.  My Mother-In-Law made crazy comments that really upset me sometimes.  I was 10x’s more emotional too- which I didn’t even realize at the time.  Things that wouldn’t normally bother me really affected me during the wedding planning process.  It’s a big transition whether it seems like it at the time or not.  Your mother might be reacting that way because of something in her past or because of the stress or because she’s sad about her baby growing up.  Who knows.  I doubt she is trying purposely to hurt you- and she probably doesn’t even know what she’s doing.  I don’t think it would be a bad thing to talk to her about what you’re feeling- in a really nice way.  I’m sure things will go back to normal after the wedding.

Post # 8
Member
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I have a different perspective for you: be glad she isn’t involved in every aspect. 🙂 Imagine if she was and had comments about EVERYTHING? How frustrating.

Also, just be confident in your dress. You picked it for a reason. And she is probably just acting weird because she feels uncomfortable. You said yourself that she doesn’t really get “into” weddings and probably takes what she saw on a TV show as always fact.

Good luck & I hope you feel better! Plus, I’m sure your dress is gorgeous. You wouldn’t have picked it otherwise.

Post # 9
Member
2394 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Ouch!

The comments about your weight/body/cousin are really uncalled for, and I’m sorry your mom couldn’t pull it together for you during your shopping trip.

What dress did you wind up choosing?

Post # 10
Member
1876 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Say something. Next time the dress comes up be like “Mom, I know you’re trying to help but your making me feel bery self-conscious and unhappy. And it makes me not want to speak with you. If you don’t have anything nice to say please keep it to yourself, it’s hurtful.”

If not you’ll have pent up resentment until your wedding. And maybe even after.

Post # 11
Member
2392 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I hate when mother’s disparage their daughter’s bodies.  I know a lot of women (mothers and daughters) have issues of their own and that’s why they lash out that way, but just because it’s her issue and not yours doesn’t make it not hurtful.

It sucks that she’s not more supportive and excited about this, but her opinion about your dress is ultimately not what matters.  It seems pretty clear that she’s not going to be happy with anything you choose, so at least she’s consistent, right?  Hopefully you can put her opinion of it out of your mind because what matters is that you love the dress.

Post # 12
Member
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

I agree with JrzyGurl – do you have a close enough relationship with your mom to say something to her about her passive aggressive remarks? Otherwise, you ARE going to feel self conscious on your wedding day and that’s not something you want either. It’s easy for anyone to tell you to take her opinion with a grain of salt, but she’s your mom. Of course you care what she thinks! The best way to at least curb her comments is to have a chat with her about them if you can.

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