(Closed) annoyed at the other bridesmaids

posted 12 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
120 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I’m sorry you’re frustrated, I can imagine how you feel!  As far as the money issues go, I would ask the other bridesmaid and Maid/Matron of Honor to chip in but not your friends.  If I were just going to join and not part of the bridal party, I don’t feel like I have an obligation to pay.  If you are going to ask the friends to chip in, then maybe don’t be as elaborate in the activities you plan.

Post # 4
305 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2008

uhm, well, I know this is the 21st century, but what if you try calling them instead of emailing them?  Always seems to work better for me.

Post # 5
402 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

Candi1024 has a point.

 2 of my bms dont check their mail everyday. difficult for me to understand since i check mine several times an hour……

but call them to be sure. just say you shot out an email but wasn’t sure if they got it so you wanted to call to ask them yadda, yadda, yadda.

 simple enough. throw in that you hope everyone can pitch in so you all can "treat" the bride to something special. i think this would go over better than admitting you can’t afford it.

Post # 6
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2008

Maybe plan something fun but not pricey so you can pay for it all?

My brother got married when I was 19 and no one did anything for my soon to be SIL! So my best friend and I went to Spencer’s and bought a few random things, made some homemade games, whipped up some fun drinks and had a bachlorette party at her parent’s house!  It was cheap and a lot of fun – I am sure she will appreciate whatever you put together!

So maybe just do like you are planning – a really fun day – but just make sure you can swing it if the others continue to be "poos"

Post # 7
150 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

If it’s going to be a couple days before the wedding, then I’d plan a mani-pedi session for just you, her and any bridesmaids that are interested in joining and have everyone pay for their own services.  I’m sure the bride was going to do this regardless, so the cost will already be factored into her wedding budget.  If the entire bridal party goes, great!  It’ll be a fun event for just the 6 of you.  If not, then it’ll be a nice time for the two of you to catch up and exchange wedding planning stories.

After that, I’d organize a group girls dinner for the friends and have everyone (except the bride) split the check equally.  That way she doesn’t have to pay and it’s only an extra $5 or $10 pp. 

Post # 9
179 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2008

I think as long as the costs are pretty low- like $20 per person I think that is fine.  You should be able to pay the bride’s meals and get a mani/pedi for that. Also, talk to the Maid/Matron of Honor cuz she should try to be more involved if she has the title.

you are very thoughtful for thinking of the bride and even talking the initiative to plan this. . . 

Post # 10
388 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2020

It’s something we always go through during wedding planning.  My bridal party was very supportive, each in their own way.  But everyone has different expectations of what being in Bridesmaid or Best Man means, and duties and responsibilites are often not discussed upfront…we just assume everyone knows!

Since you don’t know the other girls, they might have thought your email was spam.  When an unfamiliar name pops in my inbox, I instantly delete.  So calling is definitely a great first step.

Even thought the Maid/Matron of Honor hasn’t taken the initiative yet, I think youstart with her and talk your ideas through.  Decide if she will take the lead, and if she still seems unwillingly, you’d be a great friend if you did.  I’d suggest to then talk to the others and figure out who is willing to take what on and who’s willing to cntribute monetarily.

Not everyone is a natural leader, but hopefully, by committing to being a Bridesmaid or Best Man, the others will be willing to help if someone asks/tells them what to do.  Good luck and deep breaths!

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