Post # 17
I forgot to add that approaching him from that angle may make him realize how it affects you, I would imagine it stings a bit that he is talking to mom more than you at times. Maybe instead of calling him out for it, tell him it’s taking away from time you guys have together.
Post # 18
Boy, do I feel your pain! I have no advice to give, but I just need to vent too! I love my future Mother-In-Law dearly; we became very close and I view her as a second mother to me. With that being said, she is very overbearing and it drives me crazy! She is often sweet and caring, but sometimes she just snaps!
She calls me every day/every other day which is way more than I speak to my own parents. If I am busy and do not answer, she will keep calling until I finally pick up. She will then ask a million questions as to what I am doing and why couldn’t I have answered the call the first time.
She can be overly sensitive at times and really grill me over the silliest things with the wedding planning if I do not include her in every detail or decision. So far, she has had problems with our wedding date, the color scheme, the order in which we walk down the aisle, our first dance song, the style of bridal dresses I am eyeing, the veil, my makeup artist selection, etc.
She often ends each conversation with a guilt trip of crying herself to sleep at night because she misses her son and doesn’t see him as often as she’d like because we moved to another borough (only 30 minutes away via subway!). Btw, the weekend before we moved she had a mini freak out and grilled me in a rude tone about why I chose to move so far away, why were both of our names on the lease, why did I prefer our new neighborhood to our old one, the list goes on and on. It was her son’s choice to move just as much as it were mine, but somehow I got all of the blame for it.
The fiance does not know how she truly acts with me as I don’t have the heart to tell him. We have different schedules so he is not around when his mother & I speak. I do not know how to approach my fiance about it as I know they are very close and I do not want to hurt his feelings. However, I know there will be a day when I need to address it somewhow. I just need to find the right words!
Post # 19
Thank you all for your replies. I haven’t had time to use the computer over the weekend, so I was just reading it all now. A “no phone time” is a good idea, we sometimes have walks were we get rid of the phones, so i have tried that before. It is not even so much being on the phone itself that bothers me ( I have to admit I am also on my phone in the evenings sometimes), but that it is usually with the same person.
And it is not like she lives far away, we also live in NYC, and his mom lives in North Jersey, plus we often see them on the weekends. My mom, on the other hand lives on another continent so when I tell him that he talks too much to his mom he replies that I am on the phone with my mom for hours. UHM what?!?! I call my mom twice a week for 1 hour, because I NEVER see her! He texts and SEES his mom all the time. Plus they only talk about stupid stuff.
Well at least I know that there are other girls out there with the same problem;)
Gee, moving to another borough is hell isn’t it;)? I need 45 minutes every day just to get to work by subway. ha.
I know exactly what you mean. We are also living together for 2.5 years and whenever we visit the parents beachhouse (and sleep over), they automatically expect us to have breakfast, lunch and dinner with them! Or his mom (and dad) keep telling him to be careful about stupid stuff. After seeing some pictures online, where we went to a park at sunset they told us how dabgerous it is to go to there at night…I mean come on! We are almost 30 years old!
Thanks everyone for the replies!