(Closed) Annoyed by something dumb, MIL related.

posted 9 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Member
4765 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas

I think it’s pretty dumb that she did that, and I’d probably be a little annoyed by it too, but I think it’s one of those things you just have to let go. My Future Mother-In-Law does some stuff like this sometimes (still treats my Fiance like he’s a kid, etc.), but I don’t think it’s worth making an issue out of. Unless, of course, it’s something that causes problems between you and your Fiance, etc. – that’s a totally different issue.

Post # 4
Member
436 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I mean, you ARE reading into it, but only because she made a very obvious change to the content of the message.  I’d roll my eyes at it too, but check yourself to make sure you don’t have tons of buried resentment about their relationship.

Post # 5
Member
3281 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Lol, Im not sure. My mom does this sort of silly thing too, crossing out words and stuff. I personally think its kinda dumb, but I wouldnt worry too much about it, there isnt anything you can really do about it

Post # 6
Member
436 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

ps- is anyone else experience forms of PTSD reading this thread so closely after after yrret’s thread about the Mother-In-Law and the songs?  I probably would have answered it a little differently a few days ago, but now i’m hyper sensitive to over-involved MILs!

Post # 8
Member
4765 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas

@sunshinebride – that’s EXACTLY what I was thinking and exactly why I added in that little disclaimer at the end of my post, lol

Post # 9
Member
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I think I get her point, actually – it’s not that it’s a greater joy for her now that he’s grown (as if implying that he wasn’t just as great a joy as a child).

Ahh, the fun of mother’s and their cards.  the Mother-In-Law for a friend of mine sends her b’day cards and CIRCLES words she wants to emphasize.  LOL.  I wonder if I’ll do that when I’m older.

Post # 11
Member
3979 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

It’s hard for mom’s to let go of their sons… I’d totally roll my eyes if my Mother-In-Law sent my husband a card that said that. Get over it lady 🙂 lol

You’re right to not bring it up to either of them… if you ever feel the need you can just come on here & vent about her!

My Fiance doesn’t really tell his parents a whole lot… he’s quiet & answers their questions with one or two word answers. haha believe it or not though, he sees them a few times a week and they’re actually “close” (more in a physical sense I guess)

Every time my Future Mother-In-Law sees me she asks me “What can I buy him?” “What does he need for the house/kitchen/bathroom?”… or when I bought him a suit last Christmas & she was like “Get all his suits together for me & I’ll get them all tailored”. I know she’s just trying to help, but it sometimes annoys me and I want to say: “Let me deal with it! I’m his future wife!!! I can handle these things… “

Mom’s. Sheesh.

Post # 12
Member
582 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Thats a little strange. Obviously there was some purpose behind it otherwise she would not have made the point to change the wording. You just have to let things like this go, It will  make your life a lot easier. if by any chance shes doing it to get some kind of reaction out of you, shell stop once she sees you are not affected by the weird things she does. ( Im not saying she is though)

Post # 13
Member
3285 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

How weird.  Future Mother-In-Law is like that as well.

Post # 14
Member
1205 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

Yeah, I agree that it’s silly and that you shouldn’t read too much into it. Some people have funny tendencies to adjust cards to personalize them. My grandmother always puts the month and year on the back of them… I guess she expects me to keep them forever? Ha!

I don’t have kids, but I can totally see that the card might not reflect her love for her son. Whereas you might see your relationship with your husband growing as you know each other longer, some say it doesn’t work that way with kids. They grow up and you repsect them as an independent person, but you loved them just as much as a newborn the instant they are born, or as a curious child learning about the world, even the angsty teen, etc.

Post # 15
Member
1119 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

My mom used to cross out words in cards and add words too…until she got into scrapbooking and card making. Now she can make her cards say whatever she wants. Maybe that would be a good Christmas gift idea for your Mother-In-Law, lol…if you were able to shrug it off and laugh about it, it would be interesting to see what kind of cards she would create!

Post # 16
Member
4566 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I honestly think you’re reading too much into it. I don’t really think it was a stab at you (I don’t think it was about your at all, actually) and more being sad that her little boy has grown up. All parents feel that way at some point- my mom had a really hard time with the fact that my little brother just turned 20 2 weeks ago. My aunt and grandmother cross out words all the time!

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