(Closed) Annoyed w/ People that Demands an Invite

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
408 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Oh I sooooooo feel your pain…we got a lot of that when we first got engaged “congrats, I better get an invite” and of course its always from people that you are not close to at all!


Then as the months passed by, I thought people forgot, but once the save the dates went out…then again….and definitely when we mailed the wedding invitations out earlier this month….whew…the well is open and everyone…regardless of the fact that they are your parents, grandparents friends and haven’t seen nor spoken to you in 5 yrs want an invite…its insane!

That chic is crazy…lol. I’ve received a few messages on facebook, but none as rude as that!

Post # 4
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

That’s the crazy conversation ever!  Who mandates an invite?  That’s not how this process goes.  I’d definitely NOT invite her, she’s nuts!

Post # 5
7152 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Yeah, I had a conversation a little like that this week also. I just laughed it off and told her that “everybody says that”. I don’t like being pressured to invite someone. That is so rude!

Post # 6
300 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Wow! She’s crazy. When we first got engaged and I put it on facebook I got several comments about how I better send them their invitation. I even had a couple people message me their address. I never responded and I’ve been very careful to not put anything about our wedding on facebook. I don’t want everyone knowing our busines and I don’t want to get into these types of conversations. I figure if I’m not constantly posting about it then the people who aren’t really close to use and wouldn’t be invited probably won’t think anything of our wedding and won’t notice they didn’t get invited until after it’s already too late and their seeing our honeymoon pictures on there!

Post # 7
1110 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

LUCKILY ive only gotten one

” i better get an invite “

but its soo annoying!

Post # 9
6597 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010


I had a girl who was my friend but she is the go out for coffee every few months type of friend. Fiance and I were planning the wedding well before the official proposal. Before the official proposal I went out to lunch with this girl. She was asking about the wedding as she knew we were already planning it and this conversation went down:

Her: So I better be invited to your wedding

Me: Well as you know we are only inviting 50 people and so it really depends on how many extended family comes over.

(Let me say she was on the list but she was also in the bumpable area – meaning if my family from Africa and Australia decided to make the trip she would be bumped off the list)

Her: Noooooo I should be able to come before your family

Me: Uhh….

Her: Seriously, you have to invite me

Then I quickly changed the subject. I could not believe her rudeness I was appalled and wanted to bump her off no matter what. But it looks like I may not have to do that as she has moved out of my city and I have not seen her in months.

Post # 10
408 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

@miss cakeball, I’ve done the same on facebook….but the wall posting by others say “how’s the wedding” and “oh I got the wedding invitation, its beautiful, can’t wait to come” can get you in a lot of trouble too….it never fails that once people start posting stuff like that…we start to get the “can I come”…”where;s my invite”, etc

Post # 11
99 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

omg ive gotten soooooo many!! i deleted my myspace and facebook cuz i was sick of everyone demanding and cuz they are unneccesary, but that was the cake topper for me!


and i went to a wedding over the weekend and i literally had 6 peoplee TELL me they better be invited and one girl get all bitchy and shit talk me behind my back cuz “were not even invited. are you kidding me?” ! people are INSANE!!!!

Post # 12
408 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

@ Future Mrs. Marting – more important than family, huh…yeah she’s pyscho!

Post # 13
774 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

Wow!!! That really is putting you on the spot! My goodness!

I have a few stories…From the shortest first…

We met a couple at the bar of our favorite japanese steakhouse one Friday night. the girl was totally fixated on my engagement ring and kept telling us we should invite them to our wedding…Really? I JUST met you….ok….

Then, my fiance plays on a shuffleboard league and I’ve been in a few season but not consecutive like him. There is this lady who is a sweetie, vey loud, but sweet. There is another lady we’ve know since our very first season and she’s become a good friend so we invited her to the wedding. Well, loud lady keeps telling us everytime we see her she better get an invite or else she is crashing our wedding anyway! She’s an older lady but I think she has a little crush on my fiance. LOL The other lady says she will crash it too if she finds out where it is!

More recently, I was married before and so a couple of girls from my ex-family are actually in my wedding. Crazy I know. One was talking to another one that I very rarely talk to…I think we’ve seen each other once in the past 2 years. She was telling her about the day of activities and stuff and now she is shunned because she wasn’t invited and wants to be a part of it too! Hello? We haven’t even spoken on myspace or facebook in over 2 years so why would I think to invite you?

I also have a much more complicated situation of another potential crasher but that is longer and we’ll save that for another time. 😉

I think the ones that say “I better get an invite” fall in to one of several categories:

a. they have never been to a wedding and desperately want to

b. would like to take advantage of the free food and booze

c. secretly wish they would be having their own wedding

d. just want to go because they know people who will be there and actually want to party with THEM!


Post # 14
2289 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I had a similar conversation with my Aunt regarding her best friend.
“Mary’s coming to, so she needs to be invited.”
“She’s coming with me and Grandma, so be sure to invite her.”

Luckily I really like her and had no problem adding her to the list but still…gah!

Post # 15
2463 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

ick! i hate these situations!

fi’s best friend from high school, D, is seriously a jerk. he has treated fi like crap ever since fi met me and started spending more time with me and less than him. (and for the record–fi’s 27, so it’s not like high school was recently, this is clearly a relationship fi’s just grown out of.) D might have been invited to our wedding out of old time’s sake, except a different friend of theirs was married last september, and D rsvped yes for him and a guest, and then didn’t come. wasn’t even going to tell the groom, excpet fi caught wind of it and made him call. totally crappy! so D is def not invited–we think he’d do the same thing again. so anyway, just last week, fi’s out to dinner with a bunch of his high school frineds, including D, and this is the first time in like a year fi had seen d even though he lives close by. a different friend brought up fi’s bachelor party, since our best man has already emailed fi’s friends to organize, and d asks point blank where his email was. ummmmm awkward! he’s not invited to the wedding, so he’s not invited to the bachelor party—awkward convo to have in front of other people!

Post # 16
4480 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch

My response would have been, “haha” and that would be the end of it. 😉 If she was actually serious, I don’t think she deserved to be taken seriously!

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