(Closed) Annoyed with FH erg and can’t say anything to him

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2114 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I dont think you are being a bridezilla if your future husband is running off and purchasing another home without seriously consulting you. There is obviously a communication breakdown happening in this relationship and that would be a red flag for me – you.need.to.talk.to.him – asap

Post # 5
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

vent away – i would be pissed as well if he decided to trip off for a long weekend of fun and singledom leaving me at home with all the responsiblities plus its money we could have spent on eachother/doing something together

men – cant live without them, cant kill them and bury them in the backyard either i tell you ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 6
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

Wait, why can’t you say anything?

It sounds like he chose an inopportune time. He knows you are busy and chose to add to your responsibility by leaving you with all the kids?

Ticket is bought, I get that, but you can let him know that you are upset he chose this time to do this and that next time when it comes to leaving you with the responsibility you want to be part of the decision

Post # 9
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

@MarryMeTiffany: I totally get that, which is why you shouldnt get mad, stomp your feet and waste alcohol by throwing your wine glass at him, but I do think a calm mention that this doesnt sit well with you and that next time he needs to run the timing by you first is in order.

If he wants to search and buy a house I suspect more than one trip will be in order and you dont want the timing to suck again!

Post # 10
Member
20 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think @CanadianMermaid makes a very good point – this is an indicator of a break down in communication and definitely needs to be nipped in the bud ASAP.  But I think men often do things without thinking through the impact it makes on the other half.  Not a justification – but I think he needs to be reminded that you’re under a lot of stress @MarryMeTiffany!  Perhaps he thinks this is a grand gesture of his love for you, or that this will in some way be of help.  Or maybe he just feels as though he needs a couple days alone and this is a good.  Regardless of what it is he’s thinking, he needs to actually tell you.  To use a line men often throw at us, “We’re not mind readers!”  And marriage ought to be an absolute partnership – he needs to get used to the fact that he can’t make an executive decision without consulting the board of directors! 

 

Post # 11
Member
1501 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Just mention to him that next time he should plan this trip with you. Not necessarily that you have to go with him, but you need to work out the timing together.

Vent away though, I understan the not telling him but needing to get it out!

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