Post # 1
So annoyed at my fiance right now but I really can’t say anything to him. We are getting married November 30th in Florida (we live in IL). We have talked a few times in the past about buying a house in FL to use as a vacation house since we go there so often but never to seriously discussed it. So for some reason he got on a huge buy a house kick and is now flying to FL this monday and won’t be back will wed. I’m just annoyed because I’m in the middle of training for my first marathon, doing all the wedding deco myself, getting my foster care liscense ( I go to training Tuesday nights), and not to mention our 4 kids. It’s not even the finances because we can afford it no problem but just annoyed that he’s deciding to do this now. Why can’t it wait? I don’t know but for some reason it can’t. This is just a vent because I can’t talk to him about it after all he is just trying to better our lives I’m just being a bridzilla.
Post # 3
I dont think you are being a bridezilla if your future husband is running off and purchasing another home without seriously consulting you. There is obviously a communication breakdown happening in this relationship and that would be a red flag for me – you.need.to.talk.to.him – asap
Post # 4
Post # 5
vent away – i would be pissed as well if he decided to trip off for a long weekend of fun and singledom leaving me at home with all the responsiblities plus its money we could have spent on eachother/doing something together
men – cant live without them, cant kill them and bury them in the backyard either i tell you 🙂
Post # 6
Wait, why can’t you say anything?
It sounds like he chose an inopportune time. He knows you are busy and chose to add to your responsibility by leaving you with all the kids?
Ticket is bought, I get that, but you can let him know that you are upset he chose this time to do this and that next time when it comes to leaving you with the responsibility you want to be part of the decision
Post # 8
Well I haven’t talked to him because he is really excited about this and I know he has been wanting for awhile to get a house down there he also has said more then once that he wishes I could go with to look at the houses, but with the kids it’s really not an option. This is just one of those times when keeping my feelings to myself is a better option
Post # 9
@MarryMeTiffany: I totally get that, which is why you shouldnt get mad, stomp your feet and waste alcohol by throwing your wine glass at him, but I do think a calm mention that this doesnt sit well with you and that next time he needs to run the timing by you first is in order.
If he wants to search and buy a house I suspect more than one trip will be in order and you dont want the timing to suck again!
Post # 10
I think @CanadianMermaid makes a very good point – this is an indicator of a break down in communication and definitely needs to be nipped in the bud ASAP. But I think men often do things without thinking through the impact it makes on the other half. Not a justification – but I think he needs to be reminded that you’re under a lot of stress @MarryMeTiffany! Perhaps he thinks this is a grand gesture of his love for you, or that this will in some way be of help. Or maybe he just feels as though he needs a couple days alone and this is a good. Regardless of what it is he’s thinking, he needs to actually tell you. To use a line men often throw at us, “We’re not mind readers!” And marriage ought to be an absolute partnership – he needs to get used to the fact that he can’t make an executive decision without consulting the board of directors!
Post # 11
Just mention to him that next time he should plan this trip with you. Not necessarily that you have to go with him, but you need to work out the timing together.
Vent away though, I understan the not telling him but needing to get it out!