(Closed) Annoyed with invites—vent

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1330 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

that does suck!! sorry! :-/

i don’t think our parents are gonna have a say….we’re doing the entire guest list ourselves….

Post # 4
Member
548 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Yes, that is annoying. I’d be a little peeved too. But think of the extra costs as like a downpayment on a good relationship with your ILs. Maybe that will help ease the sting a little, you know?

Post # 5
Member
485 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Do you HAVE to invite all the people they want or can you ask them to pair down their list to maybe a handful of people?

Post # 7
Member
435 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

You’re allowed to vent.  It’s hard.  I don’t know what it is but I was so emotional about the guest list.  Do you at least know all of them??

Post # 8
Member
237 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I agree with @hoyalawya2010 it is a bit annoying that they have so many people but it is also a way to show them how much you want to build a relationship with them (and their friends). Look at it this way if they did not love you and want to “show you off’ to all their friends they would not have such a long list. In a way it is a pretty big compliment that they want to share your wedding (and you!) with so many people. I think it is a sign that you and your future inlaws will have a great future together as a family!

Post # 9
Member
610 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Do you know these people? I have a rule, if neither Fiance or I have met them I’m not inviting them. I mean there are family members on both sides of our family that we know aren’t coming, but they’re still getting invites. But if his mother told me I want you to invite my friend.. or my coworker…or this extended family member…I’d just tell her no.

OR you just send them invites, and tell Fiance if you’re over on counts, it’s his job to uninvite them….

Post # 11
Member
504 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

IMO I think its a waste to send invites to people you already KNOW aren’t going to show. Especially when you’re diy-ing the invites that can be an expense you dont have to make. All of Fiance old friends and family are out of state so he sent them a mass email telling them about the wedding and asked if they would like to come to let us know by a certain date and they would receive a formal invitation. It worked really well. He received about 10 congrats but sorry we can’t make it and about 5 we’ll be there for sure! I don’t really know if this is the way most would do it but it worked well for us and will save me tons in time and costs.

Post # 12
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

15-20 people is a bit much. I would politely say ” I’d love to invite them all but we simply cant afford it, the max number of extras we can have is … [insert reasonable number]”

Post # 15
Member
138 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

@Nola: My Future Mother-In-Law did the same thing to me… she added about 12 couples to the list, promising they wouldnt come.  They all live on the east coast and our wedding is in Hawaii.  GUESS WHAT… so far 2 couples are coming (4 arent) and I havent heard from the rest of them.  Be prepared for major cost surprises or just put your foot down before it happens!   (I recommed the foot!) Good luck!

Post # 16
Member
485 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Nola: That sucks but at least the hopefully wont show up and HoyaLawya2010: had a nice way of putting it…

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