(Closed) Annoying Friend (Long)

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
4659 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

This is a conversation you’ll have to have privately with your Fiance… if he can’t get on board, it’s going to be a near impossible uphill battle. You shouldn’t have to hide in your own home, but I’d make myself scarce whenever he was near and start getting pretty chilly in my behvior toward him. 

Your Fiance sounds like the kind of guy that’ll notice that, which would be a bonus. 

If he won’t step in, I might stop being so nice and start snarking. “Oh yeah, well, when you get married -hahaha- you can do that.”

“I guess you should try your hand at cleaning the carpet next time, huh?” Or even “Good thing you’ve got your own carpet you can keep how you like it.”

I’d straight up tell him he’s being rude in situations like going into a stranger’s fridge. I’m not one to stand on ceremony but man I don’t even know about that one. Who does that?

Post # 6
Member
2907 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 1996

Does B have a lot of money? How would he respond to being asked to pay a not-inconsiderable amount of rent, since he’s staying with you so often? I wonder if that would result in him staying less often. Though honestly I think setting some ground rules is key. Examples: He can’t stay more than one night in a row, he can only stay on nights X and Y, if he wants to stay he needs to do X and Y chores to contribute to the household, he has to remember that he is a guest, not a resident, and therefore he cannot invite other people over to your home. Honestly it sounds like a nightmare to me, I would have cut him off long ago.

Post # 7
Member
3688 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

You’re letting him walk all over you. I think you need to calmly explain everything to your Fiance, get him on the same page, and then the two of you need to have a sit-down chat with B.

Post # 8
Member
3583 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@futuremrsndl:  Yes you have a right to be irritated. He is a chode. Time to have a ‘come to Jesus’ about what being an adult (and a guest) means. Now he’s starting to make you look bad and that is not cool. He also needs to figure out his own way to see his Girlfriend. You are not a hotel or his parents.

@Jijitattoo:  Fuck rent. That’s just inviting him to think he has a say in their house! Blech.

Post # 9
Member
1765 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

You have every right to be annoyed! I actually dealt with a similar issue (although the friend thankfully wasn’t staying with us) with one of DH’s friends so I totally understand how you are feeling! I think you need to talk with your Fiance about it, and just tell him to think about what you’re saying. That’s what I did with Darling Husband, and after he thought about it, he realized I was right and his friend was horribly rude. At first, Darling Husband made excuses for the friend, but after he really thought about it, he started to see the rude behavior for what it was… just plain rude.

It doesn’t sound like he’s being a considerate guest while he is in your home. And I would not be okay with that. It sounds like you’ve been more than generous by allowing him to stay with you so frequently.

Post # 10
Member
170 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Oh how awful!!! You totally have a reason to be upset!  I’m so glad that Fiance is on your side about this – that should make it 1000x easier.  

Please keep us updated 🙂

Post # 12
Member
3688 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I would have left the mud for B to take care of.

I think the two of you need to make it clear to B that his behavior is unacceptable, and if it continues he won’t be welcome to stay with you any longer.

Post # 13
Member
2907 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 1996

@WillyNilly:  I wasn’t really imagining him paying rent, I was more thinking it might convince him not to stay so often if he was asked to.

Post # 14
Member
3583 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Jijitattoo:  Ahhh. I’d worry that he would take them up on it. BUT, seeing as he’s pretty selfish, maybe he wouldn’t. An interesting gamble.

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