(Closed) Annoying parenting comments like "you just wait and see!!"

posted 8 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 17
Member
957 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@jules28:  Oh, and my baby slept in her crib almost right away. I was increidbly happy with that arrangement.

Post # 18
Member
996 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Lately I’ve been saying, “I’m just going to plan for the worse and be pleasantly surprised & grateful if I get anything different.” Or “I’ve been reading a lot of books & there are so many different ways to do things so we’ll just have to see what works for our baby.” Or course I have an idea as to how I’d like things to go & the “just wait and see comments” are annoying but depending on who says it my level of annoyance can be low or VERY high. My pilates instructor was asking if I have a plan for someone to watch baby after she’s born so I can continue with pilates & I said I’ll probably have Mother-In-Law come and do a 4 hour day with baby 1/week so i can work out, do doctors apts, errands, etc & she replied, “yeah right like you are going to want to be away from baby for that long in the beginning.” I said, “you never know.” and changed the subject. 

Post # 19
Member
2294 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@jules28:  Most of the time I just tell that that the one thing I’ve learned from this journey is that every woman, every pregnancy, and every child is different.  She has NO way of knowing what you’ll experience because it just plain and simply WON”T be what she has!!

Post # 20
Member
2265 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@jules28:  Tell her she has convinced you that you have no idea what you’re getting into so youve decided to abort.

Too harsh? 

Okay, then next time just tell her of course you don’t know exactly what it will be like any more than anyone who hasn’t experienced something first hand but like most first time parents, you’ll figure it out. 

Then stop telling her about your plans for when the baby comes. 

Or, when she says something that irritates you, leave or change the subject.

Post # 21
Member
779 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@jules28:  I was told I would never fit into my bikini again. 

 

Um, thanks? That makes me feel really good and sexy. Ugh, this is why I wanted to wait until after the birth to announce. 😉 

Post # 22
Member
5136 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@jules28:  I don’t have a Mother-In-Law that is like that, but I do hear it from people I work with. They think of me as the “little girl” of the office. I hate it, but I ignore it. 

Post # 23
Member
635 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@jules28:  I completely understand how you feel. I get this kind of stuff all the time. I agree with others that you need a go to response to all of this. Mine is a bit passive agressive, but I usually smile and say “thanks for the advice, I’ll add it to the list!”. Then I change the subject, it usually shuts people up. 

Post # 24
Bee
821 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2008 - A tiny town just outside of Glacier National Park

I just tell them I’m looking forward to the whole experience, good and bad, and I plan to take it a day at a time.

Post # 25
Member
1319 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@jules28: Yes this is SO annoying!! I had these comments too when I was pregnant and it is so patronising! The best thing you can probably do is ignore them and laugh it off and just get on and do things your way. They just want to feel important because they went through it themselves.

Post # 27
Member
138 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

I actually think it’s true, but it’s still annoying to constantly hear. You really don’t understand how frustrating, infuriating, and terrifying parenting can be until you’re in the thick of it, but nobody wants to hear that all the time.

Post # 28
Member
3628 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

Sure, it may be true that our parenting choices will evolve after birth in ways we didn’t believe they would.

BUT- someone can say that in a diplomatic, peaceful way without an agenda.

The problem with these comments is that most of the time they are said in an arrogant way and a know-it-all way.

I think people are sometimes threatened when others voice different parenting styles…it’s like they take it as a criticism of their choices.

I’m really going to have to figure out some calm, neutral come-backs cause I don’t want to get all worked up about it…

Post # 29
Member
3628 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

@cherrypie:  I second that, great response! You’re so evolved. 🙂

 

Post # 30
Member
86 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

What really annoys me is when someone tells you something that is blatantly unsafe- like sleeping on your tummy is the onlthey to get a baby to sleep- or car-seats don’t need to be used for short trips !!! It is hard to emphasise to people that just because a baby survived they’re parenting- does not mean it will be safe for my baby!

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