(Closed) Anon Post- Need Advice. Very Long.

posted 7 years ago in Babies
Post # 48
336 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@stressed_anon:  I am so incredibly sorry for what you are going through.  You are absolutely right, it will be a tough and traumatizing experience and I wish you all the strength in the world.  umm, you need to contact the police.  The messages from his sister are threatening in nature, and they are threatening to come to the hospital and saying completely inappropriate and awful things towards you.  You used the word ‘bullying’ yourself.  People CANNOT just show up at the hospital and barge in.  You are entitled to confidentiality and privacy.  I would make this VERY clear when you register tomorrow at the hospital that in no uncertain terms is anyone to know that you are even a patient at that hospital, and that you want NO VISITORS.  Make it clear, if people are trying to represent themselves as inlaws or relatives, that you don’t consider them as such, and they should not be allowed to see you.  Does ‘John’ want to be there for you or to see/hold his child?  If you want to allow him that (which you totally don’t have to, but if you were to extend that), you don’t need to be present, and if he’s not there to offer you support (which it sounds like you don’t want anyway), he can do that without harrassing you, and if you are to emotional to handle all that, then don’t.  You have every right to choose how to handle the situation in your own way.

Post # 49
1366 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I just wanted to send you some virtual support. My heart goes out to you.

He and his family sound like awful people. As PPs have said You are in your right not to want them there and to use whatever means necessary to keep them away, even if you take a taxi and a security guard has to meet you and escort you in to the hospital.

Someone else can contact him to tell him that you are not trying to keep him from seeing the baby but that he will be able to say goodbye after. if you give him access to the baby after no one can fault you. But you do not have to have him in the room with you. 

For donating the ideas others have are good. Women’s halfway houses are also an option. They often have women who have committed smaller crimes like shoplifting because they need to feed their families.  It doesn’t make it right but often they are uneducated and the HW house helps them stay on the straight and narrow and care for their families in a positive way.

Good luck to you. I know you were saying work has given you time off and you are not feeling good about being by yourself for so long so Maybe you should go away? It might help. If that is not an option financially and you feel up to it, try getting out of the house doing some volunteering or working part-time. But only if you feel you can handle it.

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