(Closed) Anonymous Account to ask a question…am I wrong for feeling this way???

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: What should I do???
    Get over it, you're being ridiculous...suck it up and go... : (148 votes)
    95 %
    Ask FI not to go : (1 votes)
    1 %
    Ask FI to tell them we're going, but he won't be a groomsman : (2 votes)
    1 %
    Let FI go alone : (5 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 31
    Member
    5983 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2010

    @lifesaver8: breath! you NEED to go to this wedding. no doubt about it..you have to go. if you really want to marry Fiance  you must go. seriously this is the perfect opportunity to meet his family. plus, I am sure there will be relatives or friends at teh wedding your age. I think you will end up having a really good time!!! Try to stay positive! 🙂 Please update us when you get back

    Post # 32
    Member
    317 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    I also agree that being the date of someone in the bridal party can suck, which is why I did a sweetheart table at my wedding.  Years ago, though, I was dating a guy who was a groomsman and I didn’t know anyone at the wedding either. So my ex found out who I would be sitting with (other friends of friends of his and the couple) and found me a girl he was friendly with who I could meet before the wedding and who would be like my wedding buddy. I was able to stick with her until my ex was done with the groomsman duties.  It made it so less awkward and I had a great time even without him around.  Maybe your man could find out who you are sitting with and introduce you to someone at the table before the wedding so you’ll have at least one person you know. 

    Post # 33
    Member
    335 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    Does your Fiance know you feel this way about his family?  You do realize these same sqiggly speakers will be at your wedding, right?  He should be concerned that you are so uncomfortable and selfish regarding his family.

    Post # 34
    Member
    7081 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2009

    I”m closing this thread for a couple of reasons:

    1) First and foremost, the original comment is headed towards racism.  It’s one of the few things that we have zero tolerance for here!

    2) Anonymous accounts to ask difficult questions are fine, but using a sockpuppet to comment on your original question is absolutely not.

    OP: you got some great advice here and I hope you spend some time thinking about what people have said.

    Post # 35
    Member
    88 posts
    Worker bee

    I totally get not wanting to be stuck at the reception by yourself but it might work out better than you think and it is a PRIME opportunity to look good in front of the in laws… At a friends wedding one of the groomsmen had to sit with his fiancé (at her demand – even though her sister was also invited specifically so she wouldn’t be alone) and nobody was that upset but nobody was real impressed with her either, but then since a spot opened up at the table my date came and sat with us because he also didn’t know anyone…. But he didn’t come across as totally insecure because he wouldve just made do at the table he was at. 

    I would just ask your Fiance to request that you sit with a few specific family members he knows will want to get to know you and get a little background info on them so you’ll have something to talk about (I do not think its too much to ask to try and help a bridal party’s date feel comfortable and I think it’s a good compromise for both of you). I’m assuming he does have some family members that speak English so he should make sure to introduce you around before the wedding and hopefully they will try and include you. my family is the type to MAKE strangers engage and have fun so maybe he’s not worried because he knows everyone will be nice and include you?? I had to go to a family dinner with my Fiance one time where I was basically ignored by everyone most of the night, while other members would all but hold my Fiance down to talk at him, so sitting alone while eveyone else had their family convos around me really sucked but Fiance was so thankful that I went and was nice and even though I didnt feel liked By them it was worth it because I know it was important to my Fiance. (FWIW my Fiance is so close with my family my brothers immediately said how happy they were to get a big bro when we got married so it does hurt a little his family seems like they couldn’t care less – and we still don’t spend a ton of time with his fam because I make most of our plans and I’m not comfortable enough to self-invite us to things they are hosting like holidays and they never contact either of us) 

    can an I ask what you do for a living? A trick I’ve used to overcome shyness is just to pretend things are a job function…. Not nearly as warm and fuzzy but it makes me feel less nervous and more confident about talking to people I don’t know… Any maybe see if you can’t find an Arabic to English phone app just in case the language barrier is that bad… I would hope everyone will appreciate you putting yourself in an uncomfortable situation to get to know their family and bottom line is if they don’t appreciate it, if they’re rude, if you have an awful time, it will all be over in a few hours and you will know you tried and not have to feel bad about bowing out next time and letting your SO go alone.

    Post # 36
    Member
    9100 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    This thread is four years old. I’d hope she would have figured it out by now, unless everyone in her life is very patient.

    Post # 37
    Member
    1980 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Hyperventilate:  Just because a thread is old doesn’t mean it’s irrelevant. They still show up in searches on Google and such. And really, you could let PP know it’s an old thread in a nicer manner. And we wonder why new bees get scared away…

    The topic ‘Anonymous Account to ask a question…am I wrong for feeling this way???’ is closed to new replies.

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