(Closed) Anonymous Bee Needs Advice!

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Should I stay or should I go?
    You should stay and try to work it out. Maybe he really IS willing to change. : (5 votes)
    4 %
    You should go. You deserve to be with someone who is willing to put effort into the relationship. : (90 votes)
    76 %
    You should put the relationship on a 'break'. : (21 votes)
    18 %
    Other (I will explain below) : (2 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    429 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I’m sorry you’re going through this. 🙁

    I try not to draw hard lines like this when I think about giving others advice, but in your situation, I don’t think I could stay in the relationship.  He’s offered to ‘think about’ trying harder? That’s hardly a commitment to better caring for your feelings.

    3 weeks with no contact with no good reason would be a huge deal for me. It hardly even sounds like you’re in a relationship at this point. You’re unhappy and hurting and he’s apathetic. I’m sorry dear, he just doesn’t sound like a very considerate person at all. 

    FI and I had a discussion last night about why we work well together and it came down to this: we are both willing to put the other first. It sounds like your SO isn’t putting you first or even second.

    Just some things to think on. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    3969 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    3 weeks with no contact? If I’m dating someone, I expect to at least hear from them (you know, hey, thinking of you / how are you?) every day. 3 weeks? No way. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    3773 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: December 1999

    If he is unemployed is there any option of the two of you living together? Long distance relationships are really hard, especially when you hit a rough patch.

    Post # 7
    Member
    4691 posts
    Honey bee

    @autumnmountainbride:  I feel the same way.

     

    OP, it’s up to you if you choose to stay or go, but frankly I couldn’t. Give it a couple weeks and see if he really does change, but if he doesn’t, cut your losses and go. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    9556 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    What are your plans for living arrangments after the wedding? And do you have wedding plans made or is it just a “getting married sometime in the future” kind of engagement? Is there any way to get the two of you into the same city sooner, like nowish? Because I don’t think this will continue to work long-distance. But long-distance is really hard, so if you want to give it a last shot to see if it’s going to work I’d advise getting into the same city.

    Post # 13
    Member
    1082 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    I can’t imagine being engaged to be married to someone who I don’t hear from regularly?

    You deserve better than this. I vote move on, and find someone who will appreciate you!

    Post # 14
    Member
    1691 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Question…if he doesn’t have a job…why doesn’t he move?

    The topic ‘Anonymous Bee Needs Advice!’ is closed to new replies.

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