(Closed) Another Aisle Dilema

posted 9 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
5273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

Just let them know that this was your FI’s decision & he was able to pick whomever he wanted to stand by his side (don’t put this on yourself, it was his decision, so he can remind his parents of that.)

I also think that they offered your Future Father-In-Law to walk you down the isle as a nice gesture, they prob just want you to feel included & thought you may like the idea. If you want to walk by yourself go for it! Or you can always walk with your mom 🙂

Post # 4
1084 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Perhaps you could make them ushers and still walk down the aisle, so that way the only thing they wouldn’t be doing is standing up there with you.  Could your Future Father-In-Law walk a grandparent down the aisle?  They’re often included in the processional.  My hub walked with his mom down the aisle, then my Father-In-Law walked my mom and grandma down and my other set of grandparents walked down together.

Post # 5
330 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

You could always give FI’s brothers & sisters special duties – i.e. a reading, toast, or have one of them be the one to “announce” you into the reception (I’ve had clients do this- it’s a nice alternative to a DJ/bandleader who might mispronounce names, plus a person who knows the couple has real enthusiasm as opposed to canned).

Fiance could walk his mom down the aisle, or you could appoint one of the brothers to do it.  Your brother could walk your mom down the aisle and then assume his role as best man. Or you could designate FI’s brothers as “ushers” at the ceremony, they’d seat everyone – you would include them in the “bridal party”, but they wouldn’t have to have partners or stand for the ceremony. Traditionally, the usher’s reception duty is to dance with any ladies who show up solo (great if the brothers are single!), and to generally make sure people are mingling. Really, this would depend on their personalities, but it might be a good compromise if fiance wants them. 

You mentioned that you’re worried about everyone noticing that your dad isn’t there – regardless of how you solve the aisle issue, people will likely notice that bit anyway (when he doesn’t walk you down the aisle/no father/daughter dance, etc.).  I wouldn’t rule out having Fiance walk his mom down the aisle if he wants to.  You can have an usher or your brother (or even FI) seat your mom without making a HUGE deal of it. 

If you’re not interested in having Future Father-In-Law walk you down, say so from the beginning.  Is your relationship with your own father strained?  You could always have your mom walk you down or even your brother and then he could assume his role as Bridesmaid or Best Man.  If you truly want to walk alone, just tel Future Mother-In-Law & Future Sister-In-Law that that’s what you want to do, and it’s not meant to offend Future Father-In-Law, it’s just what you want for your wedding day. 

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