(Closed) Another Black Tie Thread

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Is this event worthy of "black tie"

    Yes

    No

    Other (please leave comment)

  • Post # 2
    Member
    1180 posts
    Bumble bee

    If you want a black tie wedding with 60, do it.

    Post # 3
    Member
    2168 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2017 - Hogarths, Solihull

    View original reply
    jab3387 :  It doesn’t have to be “worthy” of Black Tie. If you want Black Tie, have black tie. I was invited to a black tie event that they’re only expecting like 70 people at at the moment.

    However, what you’ve outlined above sounds delightful. I’m not sure you need coat check at a Wedding though. I’ve never heard or seen that before. I take a wrap and drape it over the back of my chair.

    x

    Post # 5
    Member
    713 posts
    Busy bee

    All of this black tie nonsense is exactly that– nonsense. If you want to write black tie on there, go for it. It sounds like you’re having a fancy wedding, and to me fancy = black tie is fine. No one is going to be sitting at your reception looking down their opera glasses at you saying “Well, there are only 50 people here so it can’t really be black tie, how rude of them to put that on the invitation!” Most people who aren’t planning weddings themselves don’t even know what black tie “truly” means nowadays.

    Post # 6
    Member
    326 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    Sounds like it will be a lovely event!

    This may be something that is already included but just not mentioned, but will there also be drink service at the tables and a waiter-passed champagne toast? Those were items that I needed to explicitly add to my dinner service.

    Post # 7
    Member
    56 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: September 2016

    View original reply
    jab3387 :  This has all the trappings of black tie, especially since it’s in NYC, where people expect to attend black tie weddings. I wouldn’t worry one bit about the guest count. We ended up with 100 RSVPs, but we only expected 60, and we still would’ve had black tie – though we ended up caving and putting “black tie optional” so as to give worried family members an out.

    Post # 9
    Member
    1227 posts
    Bumble bee

    Yup, I’d say that was a black tie event! Sounds lovely.

    Post # 10
    Member
    5521 posts
    Bee Keeper

    View original reply
    rosegoldcoloredglasses :  is that not standard? I thought it was.

    View original reply
    jab3387 :  it sounds as though it meets the ‘criteria’ for black tie; I wouldn’t worry too much about the guest count, personally.

    Post # 11
    Member
    326 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    View original reply
    barbie86 :  I thought it was standard too, but I had to ask my hotel venue to include it for an added fee. I learned from the wedding planning process to make sure to ask everything and not assume anything! I was just happy they didn’t charge me a cake cutting fee like some other venues do.

    Post # 12
    Member
    1140 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    Sounds like a lovely event and very black-tie-worthy!  

    Post # 13
    Member
    2979 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2017

    I wish some bees would not comment on etiquette threads if they don’t know proper etiquette. Black tie events DO need to be considered ‘worthy’ of black tie. A black tie event requires a tuxedo and a gown – not your everyday suit and cocktail dress. If someone is spending $300 to come to your wedding, then yes it should be ‘worthy’ of that cost. There is no nonsense with black tie except the nonsense that fussy people create when they are hosting an average event but want people dressed to the 9s. Same way CFBC threads get inundated with parents posting. Frustrating for people who want ACTUAL etiquette answers.

    OP – Your event sounds lovely and sounds black tie. I agree with PP about passed drinks rather than solely a bartender. Coat check in winter is a wonderful addition.

    Post # 15
    Member
    56 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: September 2016

    View original reply
    jab3387 :  We’re not doing full drink service at the tables, as that would be too difficult logistically. But we are doing waiter-poured wine pairings with each course. I think it’s elegant and avoids the craziness of people giving drink orders while the staff are serving the courses. Might be something for you to consider.

    The topic ‘Another Black Tie Thread’ is closed to new replies.

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