(Closed) Another bridesmaid post?! Bridesmaids fighting.

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1141 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Sorry that sucks! Can you just say to them” leave me out of it, this arguing is ruining everything for mr”. Usually people that have strong personalities are not aware that they are trampling over people until they are told. I find them to be thick skin themselves, so they’re just not aware. Your going to have to speak up sometime, when better than now 🙂

Post # 4
Member
1736 posts
Bumble bee

Hm, I don’t think your Maid/Matron of Honor needs permission to plan the bachelorette…it’s what she’s “supposed” to do as your Maid/Matron of Honor, right?? Unless you established that someone else (one of your FI’s sisters?) was going to do it? If you told them that you don’t want to go clubbing, but defined what you WOULD enjoy doing…that is what they are supposed to do!! Your Maid/Matron of Honor can be the coordinator, but your FI’s sisters should get input too (especially since they had the foresight to ASK YOU (THE BRIDE) what you want to do).

It sucks that she told you everything – that’s not fun – but perhaps it was to gauge whether or not you’d be ok with what was planned? I know you don’t want to be confrontational, but you can’t get angry with them if you aren’t standing up for youself and voicing your concerns. Have you sat down with your Maid/Matron of Honor and said to her, “This is stressing me out and needs to stop?” because if you haven’t, it’s the first thing you need to check off your to-do list!

Let me tell you – if my ‘maids had gone and planned something outside of the defined parameters I set for my bachelorette – I’d be furious. I am the same…I want a non-traditional weekend with my girls. Spa, wine, good food…NO penis paraphanalia!! 🙂

Post # 6
Member
1736 posts
Bumble bee

@TopazWedding:  Some might disagree with me, but I think that a kind email (in which you can be direct and eloquent) would be ok. I often think that I am better at communicating by email because I get flustered very quickly when a conversation inadvertently becomes emotional or heated. I think so long as you start off the email by saying how thankful and grateful you are for all their support and generosity…and then lead into the fact that you sense some tension between them and would like very much for things to be set aside so everyone can enjoy the bachelorette and wedding day…it will be alright. Perhaps suggest that they call you if anyone needs to “talk” so they don’t feel like the email was a cop out?

Calling is probably best…but I know exactly why you hestitate to do so!

Post # 8
Member
151 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@TopazWedding:  Personally, I think you should do your best to stay out of this drama between your Maid/Matron of Honor and your FSIL’s. With planning a wedding, you have enough to worry about and this is their problem with each other to resolve. Maybe it would be a good idea to fill in another Bridesmaid or Best Man on the situation who is not involved and to ask her if she can watch and make sure the Maid/Matron of Honor and FSIL’s are kept in line on the day of the bachelorette party and wedding?

I had this same issue with two of my BM’s while they were planning my bachelorette party and at the bachelorette party itself (although I didn’t find out anything was going on after it was over). I heard one side of the story from one Bridesmaid or Best Man, but opted to stay out of it because their problem was with each other and I was not involved with planning my bachelorette besides telling them the location. Thank goodness they were civil to each other the day of the wedding, lol. I hope that your Maid/Matron of Honor and FSIL’s can put their issues aside for the sake of you!

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