- 6 years ago
- Wedding: November 1999
Okay, so I’m sure this is a tried topic, and it seems everyone has at least ONE of these girls in their bridal party. I’m just not sure what to do about the situation. I know it’s a little long, but please bare with me.
A little bit of background:
I have known this girl since we were 3 years old in daycare together. Stayed friends all throughout highschool and even through college when she went off to a few different colleges in different states and then decided to join the military. She’s always been one of those girls that is forever stuck up a boyfriends butt. She was married and 6 months later divorced, and now has a child from that marriage. She is now dating a new guy, and they seem to be getting along fairly well.
Now onto the issue..I was engaged in May of this year, and immediately thought of her. I believe she was the second person I asked to be in my bridal party (second to my Maid/Matron of Honor of course). I was hesitant to ask at first because she is in the military and who knows where she would be a year from then. I made sure to ask her about it and where she thought she would be. It was made very clear that she would be available and she agreed to be in the party.
Fast track to September and dresses need to be ordered to be in in time for alterations. $90 is what needs to be put down in order to place the order. Every other Bridesmaid or Best Man has put down their deposits so we were all just waiting on her (dresses have to be ordered together so they’re made from the same fabric or dye or whatever to ensure identical color). I sent her a friendly reminder text letting her know and she was very courteous, and said that she’d make an appt to get measurements right away. Appointment was made…..and missed. When asked about it, all sorts of excuses were made. Another week later, I mentioned it again…deadline is FAST approaching. If she didn’t order soon, the other girls would have to pay rush delivery, which just isn’t fair to them since they did everything they were supposed to do within the time frame they were supposed to do it in. I asked Bridesmaid or Best Man straight out if she was having any issues and to please let me know if she couldn’t or didn’t want to be a part of this. She simply said that maybe I should find someone closer who has the extra cash. It seemed pretty clear to me that she didn’t want any part of this, so I feel like her not being in the party is basically doing her a favor since she made it seem like this giant inconvenience.
Now, I’m not one of those bridezillas who thinks that life should be put on the back burner, but its incredibly frustrating since she’s known about this since MAY and could have easily saved $20/month for the deposit. What’s worse is that she is always going out partying, going out to eat, camping, weekend trips, etc.. with this new boyfriend. I wouldn’t have asked if I really thought buying a dress would put her out like that, but it seems that her priorities are just not where I thought they’d be.
I won’t pay for her dress, because simply, I don’t think money is really the issue. I’m having a hard time even contemplating if I should invite her to the wedding at this point, because if she can’t afford $90 to put the deposit on the dress, why would she be able to afford a plane ticket to the wedding?