(Closed) Another bridesmaid rant!

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: What should I do?
    Write her off and move on without her : (2 votes)
    11 %
    Suck it up and pay for her dress : (1 votes)
    6 %
    Keep her out of the wedding party but still invite her : (14 votes)
    78 %
    Apologize and ask if she'll still be in the wedding : (1 votes)
    6 %
  • Post # 3
    1071 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    What is the total cost of the dress? Is it the kind of dress she could wear again?

    Post # 4
    341 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    It sounds like she is not really interested in being in your bridal party because she is not as close to you as she used to be.  Have you guys spoken at all the past few months?  I think its better that you figured this out now rather than a month before the wedding.  If it were me I would still send her an invite to the wedding.

    Post # 5
    3583 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    @MrsSparkman:  Eh, at least she finally told you that she’s backing out.  People have such hard times saying no, it kills me.  I actually had two BM’s flake out during the course of my planning.  Although, I asked them out of obligation so I was actually relieved when they both dropped out for various reasons (money and family obligations).  I would just start looking forward to the rest of the party, now that you have the slacker off your list of things to do, you know? Still invite her to the wedding.  She probably won’t come…at that point you will know exactly where you stand with her and move on, carefree in your new life.

    Post # 6
    931 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    @McFierce:  +1 to this. Sounds like she doesn’t want to be in the party.

    AND TAKE IT FROM ME – if someone doesn’t want to be in the bridal party, but you try to mend things anyway, they may very well find a way to make your life miserable. I wish I had let one of my bridesmaids out when I had the chance. Sigh.

    Post # 8
    7561 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2013

    If she said you should find someone closer, it sounds like she doesn’t feel like she’s friends with you anymore. Have you tried to talk to her about her life, besides wedding stuff? 

    Post # 10
    7739 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Well in her defence, $169 can be a lot of money for a dress you’ll probably never wear again. And I’m guessing (since you haven’t mentioned it) that you weren’t a Bridesmaid or Best Man for her. So perhaps she doesn’t care for the Bridesmaid or Best Man thing, or resents having to pay $169 when she apparently didn’t ask that of you.

    Voting for her kid costs no money at all so I don’t think you can really compare.

    So it sounds like it sounds to me like there’s a still a friendship but she doesn’t want to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man. I would still invite her to the wedding.

    Post # 11
    504 posts
    Busy bee

    Honestly, maybe she couldn’t save the $20 a month. Financial issues can be touchy and perhaps she doesn’t want you to know how hard she is having it.

    Post # 13
    7739 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @MrsSparkman:  Sorry, I’m just trying to see her point of view. Her point of view might be something like this, “I never had bridesmaids, in fact I was rushed into an unhappy ‘shotgun wedding’. You get to have a lovely wedding with bridesmaids when I didn’t, which is fine, but why should I pay to make YOUR wedding beautiful?”

    Of course that doesn’t excuse her delaying and missing appointments, but it might explain how she feels.

    The topic ‘Another bridesmaid rant!’ is closed to new replies.

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