(Closed) Another Card??????

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
3625 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’ve only been to a handful of weddings where some guests will come to to reception but not the wedding (and usually, it’s only the parents of young children because they were worried about the little ones disturbing the long ceremony). I’ve never seen the opposite though where they stay for the wedding and ditch the reception. Nevertheless, I think you may be able to just use one RSVP card and have two lines:

___ attending wedding

___ attending reception

Or something like this?


Post # 4
2893 posts
Sugar bee

I’ve never heard of that. In our circle it’s always been assumed that if you’re invited and respond yes to the wedding then you’re automatically coming to the reception. Seems redundant otherwise.

Post # 5
1736 posts
Bumble bee

I have to agree with claireos – I have never received an invite that specified the ceremony versus reception (mostly because I think it’s considered a big no-no to invite some to one event and not the other). That being said, I think that lilbluebird has a good idea about how to eliminate the need for a second card by putting a second line on the response cards themselves.

My gut reaction: not necessary and a waste of paper.

Post # 7
1425 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Every wedding I’ve been to had more people attend the reception than the wedding ceremony. It’s pretty sad and it can sometimes be obvious that it’s not because they were working late or something like that, since venues said guests were camped out well beforehand (and into the time the ceremony would’ve been going on). If it’s a concern, then include RSVPs on one card, either front-to-back or on one side (like how lilbluebird listed).

Post # 8
74 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I’ve always assumed your RSVP was for the reception and if you attended the ceremony or not that didn’t matter.

Are your ceremony and reception in the same place? Are you concerned about having sufficient seating for the ceremony?

Post # 9
124 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@lilbluebird:  While I also think it’s a waste of paper (and money), I do like your suggestion. However, I think I would change “wedding” to “ceremony” so it’s absolutely clear that it’s two seperate things. People might think “wedding” covers both ceremony and reception. Can’t believe how much I’ve learned over the last year and how many people can say and do weird things.

Post # 11
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

If your mother is so concerned about having an accurate number, maybe she can help you make the calls for those who don’t return the reply card?  Cool

Post # 12
476 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Since etiquette dictates that those who are invited to the ceremony are also invited to the celebration following (when it’s held at the same time– obviously, this is not the case for an elopement, destination wedding, etc.), I would assume that those who RSVP to the ceremony would also plan to attend the reception. At least that’s how I’ve always seen it done. Personally, I’d be ticked if someone had me come to the wedding but then said, “No, I care enough for you to witness the union, but we’re not going to pay to feed you and enjoy your company all night”…?

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