Post # 1
Bees I need your help! My mother (amazing woman that she is) thinks we need to add a response card for the reception itself. We are having an intimate (200 instead of 300 guests *sigh* lol) reception and she feels that not everyone who is invited to the reception will come even if they come to the wedding and thus we should have a separate card to rsvp for the reception. This way we have a better count of who is coming. Thoughts? Ideas? Anything? Please give me your input!!!
Post # 3
I’ve only been to a handful of weddings where some guests will come to to reception but not the wedding (and usually, it’s only the parents of young children because they were worried about the little ones disturbing the long ceremony). I’ve never seen the opposite though where they stay for the wedding and ditch the reception. Nevertheless, I think you may be able to just use one RSVP card and have two lines:
___ attending wedding
___ attending reception
Or something like this?
Post # 4
I’ve never heard of that. In our circle it’s always been assumed that if you’re invited and respond yes to the wedding then you’re automatically coming to the reception. Seems redundant otherwise.
Post # 5
I have to agree with claireos – I have never received an invite that specified the ceremony versus reception (mostly because I think it’s considered a big no-no to invite some to one event and not the other). That being said, I think that lilbluebird has a good idea about how to eliminate the need for a second card by putting a second line on the response cards themselves.
My gut reaction: not necessary and a waste of paper.
Post # 7
Every wedding I’ve been to had more people attend the reception than the wedding ceremony. It’s pretty sad and it can sometimes be obvious that it’s not because they were working late or something like that, since venues said guests were camped out well beforehand (and into the time the ceremony would’ve been going on). If it’s a concern, then include RSVPs on one card, either front-to-back or on one side (like how lilbluebird listed).
Post # 8
I’ve always assumed your RSVP was for the reception and if you attended the ceremony or not that didn’t matter.
Are your ceremony and reception in the same place? Are you concerned about having sufficient seating for the ceremony?
Post # 9
@lilbluebird: While I also think it’s a waste of paper (and money), I do like your suggestion. However, I think I would change “wedding” to “ceremony” so it’s absolutely clear that it’s two seperate things. People might think “wedding” covers both ceremony and reception. Can’t believe how much I’ve learned over the last year and how many people can say and do weird things.
Post # 10
Thanks for all the input! @lilbluebird that idea would be great if we were inviting all our guests to the reception however because of budget constraints we are having a smaller reception with only so many people invited. I do agree with everyone that adding an extra card is a waste of paper and ink! I always figured if you responded you were coming and you were invited to both ceremony and reception then you would be at both. I swear my mother comes up with some doosies! @lisapisa1 our ceremony and reception are at two different sites. We are having a church wedding and I wanted dancing at the reception so a separate venue was necessary and it also allowed us to be able to have a smaller reception without having to kick people out lol. Seating hopefully won’t be a problem but I know my mom is concerned about having an accurate count for our caterer. I think I’ll just leave the extra card out and let her complain later lol
Post # 11
If your mother is so concerned about having an accurate number, maybe she can help you make the calls for those who don’t return the reply card?
Post # 12
Since etiquette dictates that those who are invited to the ceremony are also invited to the celebration following (when it’s held at the same time– obviously, this is not the case for an elopement, destination wedding, etc.), I would assume that those who RSVP to the ceremony would also plan to attend the reception. At least that’s how I’ve always seen it done. Personally, I’d be ticked if someone had me come to the wedding but then said, “No, I care enough for you to witness the union, but we’re not going to pay to feed you and enjoy your company all night”…?