Another "Child Free Wedding Issues" Post… Am I Being Unreasonable?

posted 2 years ago in No Kids
Post # 31
9817 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

Yes, it is presumptious to assume they would be flower girls.  You’ll have to set that straight unless you just decide to roll with it.  It sounds like your Fiance thought you were inviting the 2 kids so it’s understandable SIL is planning on bringing them.  Sounds like you and your Fiance have communication issues since he thought one thing and you thought the other.  If I were you I’d be checking with the venue to see if 1 or 3 year olds would be counted against the headcount.  If they are not, then you might be ok.  Otherwise I’d be hoping someone isn’t able to come.

As a sidenote, do the kids other set of grandparents (her husbands?) live in the same town so they can watch the kids?  If that is the case you could discuss the issue with SIL and see if she would be willing to go that route.  If the other grandparents aren’t in town and it were me, I’d be skipping out on your wedding entirely as I wouldn’t leave my little children with a stranger.  So be prepared for his sister not to go and hope your Fiance is okay with that

Post # 32
275 posts
Helper bee

Tell your fiance that a child-free wedding was already agreed upon, SIL’s kids aren’t invited, and you do not really want them there anyway. Remind him that the guest list is already decided upon.

Post # 33
9521 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Your Fiance is going to need to shut this down with his sister himself, IMO. He is the one who screwed up here. Child free is child free.

First, if this is super important to your Fiance, I would call your venue and just double check that they would count toddlers towards the head count.

If they do, then I’d have your Fiance discuss with his sister:

1. the girls are not flower girls

2. they can only attend IF two other people decline.

I can’t imagine a 1 and 3 year old even attending a wedding this late honestly. My 2 year old goes to bed at 7 and is a nightmare if we try to keep her up much longer than that.

Post # 34
5009 posts
Bee Keeper

therollingclones :  hell no. Tell him he needs to get it together. Or he cuts two from his side. I would say I’m absolutely not cutting those two guests. 

Post # 35
472 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

No kids means no kids. Don’t make exceptions for an overly assumptuous Future Sister-In-Law. 

Post # 36
2003 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

i get you are on a tight budget, but i cant imagine a venue charging for kids that young, the 3 year old might be included in the fee, but i would definitely call your planner or venue to double check. If it costs nothing, why disinvite them. 

i had people attend our wedding with a newborn and we werent charged for it. granted it was a newborn but still. 

however i would definitely address this so called flower girl situation, if that is not something you want i would make it known. This is your and Fiance wedding, i wouldnt let random family take over adding things that you dont want. But this is also your Fiance family, they are just as important to be included as yours. 

Post # 37
116 posts
Blushing bee

therollingclones : 

As a woman with 12 nieces and nephews, I had a child free wedding. We had a 50 person max. My brother traveled far with his 3 little girls so they were allowed to attend the wedding ceremony but not the reception. I had a babysitter in the hotel for them. What about that as an option?

Post # 38
116 posts
Blushing bee

Additionally, I agree with everyone else. If he wants those two there then he will have to cut two from his list. That’s how we did it.

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