(Closed) Another children at weddings post/observation/question

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 47
Member
1190 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

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@fishbone:  Ohhh.  No, I’ve actually been to a wedding where children were in a separate space and no one knew before hand.  It wasn’t a very used space, of course.  I thought that’s what the OP meant, providing a space for the kids and then making it clear that that’s where the kids belonged.  

I still think it’s a waste of the bride and groom’s money.  I just don’t think most parents would leave their children with a stranger, even in the same building.  Maybe I’m just a freakishly overprotective parent though.

 

Post # 48
Member
1876 posts
Buzzing bee

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@Atalanta:  It’s a shame that you are not capable of understanding how to read and comprehend comments within the context of the thread.  I am not sure if this is by choice due to an unpleasant dispostion and a desire to be argumentative, or if you are sincerely limited intellectually.  Either way, there’s no need to comment to me as will no longer be responding to you.  

 

Post # 52
Member
1190 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

I think that it’s just not the bride and groom’s responsibility.  If I’m invited to an adults only wedding, I’m choosing my own sitter that I know personally.  I would never utilize their sitter and really, they shouldn’t have to pay to watch my children, you know?

Post # 54
Member
1190 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

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@VegasSukie:  Good grief, no.  I don’t expect everyone to pander to my children or pander to me because I have children.  That’s insane. 

Post # 55
Member
3885 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

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@stuckinwonderland:  you might be surprised. We had a 50/50 split amongst parents at our wedding. We did not do child-free and that was our choice, but since most of our guests with kids were from out-of-town, we hired (our money) two babysitters and set them up in the hotel in a guests’s room (with their consent of course). It was an “all suites” hotel so plenty of space. Some guests opted to bring their kids to the wedding and reception and some were tickled to have a night out (and a big party with open bar) without the kids, and without the hassle of lining up a babysitter in a strange town. One couple stayed 3 days longer than they would have if they’d left the kids with relatives in their home town. And our wedding was on a boat so you couldn’t quite nip upstairs or down the street to check on the kids.

as a hostess I was happy to be able to treat some of my friends to a kid-free night out. Most of the couples I know who have kids don’t get that chance very often. For the two sitters it was something like $15/hour per sitter, 5 or 6 hours, made 4 or 5 couples really happy. Glad to do it.

i will say, we made a 100% No Swimming Pool rule with the sitter, since we were paying. Liability would be murky but by paying, I knew we were assuming at least some risk. But there’s not much harm that can come to a little one if the sitter Lines up a Toy Story marathon and a couple of iPads 🙂

Post # 56
Member
4765 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

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@stuckinwonderland:  I haven’t heard of that ever happening.  I think this is about parents who refuse to go to adult-oly weddings becasue they don’t want to get a sitter or are traveling or whatever the reason.

I don’t think anyone would think it is a good idea to not tell people it is adult only affair and then snatch all the children..lolipops anyone?

LOL, but who knows, stranger things have happend.

Post # 57
Member
4369 posts
Honey bee

I think it’s fine for bride and groom to not offer childcare. It’s not their responsibility, but a nice gesture if they do. The problem comes with the b/g complaining that people can’t attend, and parents complaining that their kids aren’t invited. 

Post # 58
Member
1190 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

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@fishbone:  I think it’s extremely generous of you if you choose to do that, of course.  I just don’t think that the bride and groom *have* to.  I don’t find it rude if it wasn’t an option.  

Post # 59
Member
1789 posts
Buzzing bee

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@FMM:  I agree

Post # 60
Member
402 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

There will only be 4 children at our wedding.  My three little cousins  (they are in it), and my pastor’s new daughter.  We are friends with he and his wife, and adore his new baby.  This isn’t an issue for us, since the rest of the guest list includes people with no minor children, they are all grown!  It is a personal decision.  I personally could not imagine my wedding without these children.  To me, it’s not a “night out”, it’s a celebration of love, and we love these children.  Perhaps if it were more formal it would be different for us, but I doubt it.  Again, it is a personal choice.

As for the question about childcare:  If you invited your friends over or out to dinner without their kids, I doubt they would expect childcare.  They would decline or find their own.  If you can afford it, and the amount of children isn’t staggering, then it would be gracious to do it.  Otherwise, it’s not your responsibility.

Post # 61
Member
3885 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

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@stuckinwonderland:  I never said that anyone HAD to offer babysitting for their guests, although I did say it’s silly not to. Knowing how emotional people get when you tell them their kids can’t come, it’s quite wise to already have a solution to suggest to those with kids. Whether or not they choose to accept it is another thing, but people get a lot less worked up when you present them with a problem (your kid can’t come to my wedding) if you also present them with a solution (but I have an onsite sitter all lined up, Junior will have fun with the other kids).  And to me that is worth the price of a babysitter. 

Think of how much money each of us has spent/is spending towards a wedding. Do you really want to spend that kind of money and, a few years down the road, still remember how Cousin Ted threw a fit about his kid not being invited? Or do you want to spend a small amount more and prevent Cousin Ted and all the other parents from throwing a fit in the first place?

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