(Closed) Another children at weddings post/observation/question

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 62
Member
159 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

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@fishbone:  I think you’re underestimating how much childcare can be.  For someone working with a small budget already that can cost a couple their wedding cake.  According to the laws where I am there needs to be 1 sitter for every 5 kids and if you’re also having them watched during the meal so the parents don’t need to watch Junior, you’ll be paying for the meals of the kids and the sitters.

Basing it off my own numbers, I have a budget of $5k, a preliminary guest list of 188, and at least 30 of them are under 10.  If I were to have a child-free wedding I would be footing the bill for food for 30 non-invited kids, 6 sitters, and the hourly rate of each sitter.  That could easily be 1/10 of my budget if not more.

There really just needs to be an understanding on both sides of the invitations, IMO.

Post # 63
Member
147 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Ugh! I’m dealing with this dilemma now. Most our guests are out of town and many have popped out a kid or two in the last 3 years. If I allow kids, most will be around 2! To me, this sounds like an unpredictable nightmare. I don’t feel it’s on us to provide child care and don’t have a budget for it either. So I’m fully expecting some might not attend if its adults only. We will be really sad about this of course, but I just don’t know the logistics of reining in toddlers and would really rather not deal. On the other hand I can’t exclude my Future Sister-In-Law kids or my cousins infant ( they will be coming from overseas). I’m definitely feeling guilty about not wanting kids and keep going back and forth. Anyone know what its like if most the kids are aged1-3?

Post # 64
Member
2466 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

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@Trinisexy2:  OMG I couldn’t agree more! My FIL’s are actually arguing that exact point that “weddings are all about/for families and the kids and it shows an example”…..um…NO actually its about ME and Fiance getting married …the party is for US thanks that WE’RE paying for! It has nothing to do with kids being in attendance (most kids dont even know wtf is going on), and our wedding will be just as meaningfull and amzing whether or not there are toddlers there.

 

Responding to OP…. I do not think it should be the responsibility of the B&G to provide childcare. Outside of my Out of Town people the ones who live in town dont have any excuses as far as Im concerned. STD went out more then 6 months in advance (more like 8) and the invites 3.5 months in advance. I do have a slightly harsh view on this I admit because I have 2 people who are giving grief about bringing their 10 month olds and the simple fact is…. I already know basically 100% that they go out ALL the time “sans child”…. so your telling me you can go out with your friends on short notice and get a sitter but you cant on basically 6 months notice?? Im sorry for all the parents reading this I dont mean personal offence to you but in specific ref to MY guests thats total BULLSHIT! It’s lazyness and their own personal PREFERENCE to want to bring them. 

 

Its not my or any other brides responsibility to find childcare. I have more sympathy for people who are traveling because obviously you cant leave a baby in a hotelroom…. so that can be tricky… but local people who have ever…ever gone anywhere without their kid theres no excuse!

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