(Closed) Another complaint about the sucky BM! =(

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
484 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

I haven’t read your previous posts but, have you confronted her yet about this particular incident?

Post # 4
Member
796 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

This is a little weird behavior for anyone. I can’t imagine showing up at my small bachelorette party and seeing 3 girls I didn’t even know. It would be one thing if they were girls invited to your wedding (like, maybe your future husband has a friend who’s married and she is invited even though you don’t really know her well), but to have 3 strangers come? I would ask your Maid/Matron of Honor or another bridesmaid to say something to her about how this is inappropriate, it should really only be your friends, especially since it is a smaller party.

Post # 5
Member
960 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Ugh, that just sucks. First, tell her that you don’t want strangers at your bachelorette party. Simple as that. Second, is another Bridesmaid or Best Man planning on sending invitations for the party? If so, don’t send them to the random girls. This is something that should be an invitation only event with the girls who are closest to you. Not a free-for-all boy-chasing weekend. Hope you find a resolution soon.

Post # 6
Member
1205 posts
Bumble bee

You absolutely have reason to complain – this is YOUR weekend.  I would def. say to the BM that you do not want 3 strangers at your party.  If you don’t feel comfortable doing that, I would warn your other BM’s – by warn I mean tell them the deal and lay out your specific wants for the weekend.  That way if the troublesome group tries to change your plans, you have back up.  Worst case is they leave your group alone to go off and do their thing.  Since you already see what will prob end up happening, there’s no reason for it to ruin your good time.  Sounds like this friendship is on it’s way down – that sucks and I’m sorry! 

Post # 7
Member
1149 posts
Bumble bee

I agree with the others, and can’t believe that she thought it was appropriate to invite three people you don’t even know to your intimate bachelorette weekend.  Really rude of her to do that. 

Post # 8
Member
677 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

Perhaps you could ask your Maid/Matron of Honor to talk to her? That way it’s from a more neutral source and it might be easier for her to see how inappropriate it is?

Post # 9
Member
2641 posts
Sugar bee

Darn.  You’re right to be upset.  This isn’t her party, it’s yours.  I’m not sure if the issues you have with her stem from the wedding or begin before the wedding.  But since she is wanting to sniff out boys, I’m taking it that she’s very sinlge.  Could she be jealous of your wedding?

So have whoever is hosting speak to her.  If others are throwing the party for you, you shouldn’t have to get that involved in plicing.  Good luck.

Post # 10
Member
1238 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

Wow!  She has some nerve!  You need to tell your moh (or whomever is planning your bachelorette) to make it very clear this is an Invitation ONLY event for CLOSE friends of the BRIDE!  You don’t want strangers hijacking your event and making it about what they want.  Trust me, I had tons of issues with my bachelorette and know what I know now I would have made things much clearer to those planning my event.

Post # 11
Member
70 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2007 - a beautiful church and hotel reception

Umm yeah that is definitely NOT normal! The idea of inviting 3 random people to your bach party is 100% weird.  I agree that maybe you can tug on the sleeve of your Maid/Matron of Honor to step in and un-invite those girls. What the hecK???

Post # 12
Member
813 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

Perhaps you could neutrally avoid inviting these girls by mentioning that only people invited to the wedding are invited to the bachelorette party. i know this isn’t always the case, but you could jsut phrase it such that these girls aren’t invited to your wedding, so they shouldn’t be at your bachelorette party. And even mention that some people who ARE invited to the wedding aren’t invted to the bachelorette party bc you wanted to keep it small.

If you don’t want to have this conversation with her, enlist your maid of honor or another bridesmaid to help out. My guess is that you will be getting hotel rooms, etc, so your other Bridesmaid or Best Man could approach her by talking about the details (say, for 8 girls, we’ll need to get two hotel rooms) and maybe that will help open up the conversation about the unwanted guests!

Post # 13
Member
1149 posts
Bumble bee

I’m so curious about how this turned out – do you have an update for us?

Post # 15
Member
7053 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Yes, this is truly bizarre behavior.  I have NEVER invited non friends to a bachelorette party before.  Not even decent mutual friends either.  Just closest buds only.  It IS a bonding time before the big day.

I would seriously let the Maid/Matron of Honor deal with this but let the wayward bm be told that YOU were not in love with this idea either.

Sounds as if this bm is into definitely making it into her weekend.  And sounds as if she may not be into the group thing at all, possibly wanting to make her own plans or hijack the entire party with the dissenting opinions her outside friends might give.

She seems to be either clearly calculated on this or is extremely selfish.  I am not sure which, but either alternative is definitely not friendly, sad to say.  And I’m not one to not give the benefit of a doubt.

This move is all about HER.  

Post # 16
Member
5273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

Remeber that this party is for you! After reading your update it sounds like its going to be just your closest friends, which is great! But don’t let this girl ruin you & your friends fun. Since she is wanting to meet up with this guy from myspace she can have him come to the same bar/club as you (although this party is about the bride our single girlfriends deserve to have fun too!) or if she tries to change your plans and meet up with him, give her the hotel key and wish her a night of fun. Things don’t go excatly the way we wished they would, but try not to get upset and don’t let her actions bother you on your fun weekend.

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