Post # 1
I cant tell you how much I appreciate this site and the ability to vent my frustrations here without any reprocussions(sp?)!!!!
I have posted other blogs about the Bridesmaid or Best Man that I’m so close to just asking to step down, and even end the friendship completely. Now I have a new situation and I need to know if I am over-reacting or if I have reason to complain…
My bridesmaids are planning a bachelorette weekend for me in Dallas (about a 3 hour drive). Only my closest friends were invited because we wanted a simple weekend with just those that mean the most to me. I just found out that the Bridesmaid or Best Man that gives me sooo much trouble, has just invited 3 of her friends to go… friends I have never even met!!
Now before I go on, some may think "well maybe she invited them because she doesnt know anyone".. absolutely not true. She knows and is friendly with all 4 of my other bridesmaids!
I know the exact reason why she invited them… because her motivation for things is completely different then ours.. and she knows that they will be more open to doing the things SHE wants to do. I can already see it now, our plans of dinner and a couple clubs will be challenged because "there is a cuter waiter at that restaurant, and all the hot guys go to so and so club". I certainly dont want to boychase on my girls weekend!!!!!
Am I being too picky to just want her to be part of our group and not about her?? Maybe its just this on top of the 5million other things that she has done…
Post # 3
I haven’t read your previous posts but, have you confronted her yet about this particular incident?
Post # 4
This is a little weird behavior for anyone. I can’t imagine showing up at my small bachelorette party and seeing 3 girls I didn’t even know. It would be one thing if they were girls invited to your wedding (like, maybe your future husband has a friend who’s married and she is invited even though you don’t really know her well), but to have 3 strangers come? I would ask your Maid/Matron of Honor or another bridesmaid to say something to her about how this is inappropriate, it should really only be your friends, especially since it is a smaller party.
Post # 5
Ugh, that just sucks. First, tell her that you don’t want strangers at your bachelorette party. Simple as that. Second, is another Bridesmaid or Best Man planning on sending invitations for the party? If so, don’t send them to the random girls. This is something that should be an invitation only event with the girls who are closest to you. Not a free-for-all boy-chasing weekend. Hope you find a resolution soon.
Post # 6
You absolutely have reason to complain – this is YOUR weekend. I would def. say to the BM that you do not want 3 strangers at your party. If you don’t feel comfortable doing that, I would warn your other BM’s – by warn I mean tell them the deal and lay out your specific wants for the weekend. That way if the troublesome group tries to change your plans, you have back up. Worst case is they leave your group alone to go off and do their thing. Since you already see what will prob end up happening, there’s no reason for it to ruin your good time. Sounds like this friendship is on it’s way down – that sucks and I’m sorry!
Post # 7
I agree with the others, and can’t believe that she thought it was appropriate to invite three people you don’t even know to your intimate bachelorette weekend. Really rude of her to do that.
Post # 8
Perhaps you could ask your Maid/Matron of Honor to talk to her? That way it’s from a more neutral source and it might be easier for her to see how inappropriate it is?
Post # 9
Darn. You’re right to be upset. This isn’t her party, it’s yours. I’m not sure if the issues you have with her stem from the wedding or begin before the wedding. But since she is wanting to sniff out boys, I’m taking it that she’s very sinlge. Could she be jealous of your wedding?
So have whoever is hosting speak to her. If others are throwing the party for you, you shouldn’t have to get that involved in plicing. Good luck.
Post # 10
Wow! She has some nerve! You need to tell your moh (or whomever is planning your bachelorette) to make it very clear this is an Invitation ONLY event for CLOSE friends of the BRIDE! You don’t want strangers hijacking your event and making it about what they want. Trust me, I had tons of issues with my bachelorette and know what I know now I would have made things much clearer to those planning my event.
Post # 11
- Wedding: October 2007 - a beautiful church and hotel reception
Umm yeah that is definitely NOT normal! The idea of inviting 3 random people to your bach party is 100% weird. I agree that maybe you can tug on the sleeve of your Maid/Matron of Honor to step in and un-invite those girls. What the hecK???
Post # 12
Perhaps you could neutrally avoid inviting these girls by mentioning that only people invited to the wedding are invited to the bachelorette party. i know this isn’t always the case, but you could jsut phrase it such that these girls aren’t invited to your wedding, so they shouldn’t be at your bachelorette party. And even mention that some people who ARE invited to the wedding aren’t invted to the bachelorette party bc you wanted to keep it small.
If you don’t want to have this conversation with her, enlist your maid of honor or another bridesmaid to help out. My guess is that you will be getting hotel rooms, etc, so your other Bridesmaid or Best Man could approach her by talking about the details (say, for 8 girls, we’ll need to get two hotel rooms) and maybe that will help open up the conversation about the unwanted guests!
Post # 13
I’m so curious about how this turned out – do you have an update for us?
Post # 14
I have been waiting to update until the bachelorette party happens (1.5 more weeks!!!) but here is what we have done so far…
I sent an email to all of my girls stating how excited I am to spend a weekend with just my closest friends, and how grateful I feel that they are all willing and able to devote a whole weekend to my bachelorette party.
Then, my Maid/Matron of Honor sent a list to her of the exact people going, who is staying in what room and what the exact schedule will be.
"The BM" wrote back and said that would be fine… soooo I was very happy! Until she sent me a text that said she just met a guy on myspace that lives in Dallas and she cant wait to use that weekend to meet up with him. bleh…
Post # 15
Yes, this is truly bizarre behavior. I have NEVER invited non friends to a bachelorette party before. Not even decent mutual friends either. Just closest buds only. It IS a bonding time before the big day.
I would seriously let the Maid/Matron of Honor deal with this but let the wayward bm be told that YOU were not in love with this idea either.
Sounds as if this bm is into definitely making it into her weekend. And sounds as if she may not be into the group thing at all, possibly wanting to make her own plans or hijack the entire party with the dissenting opinions her outside friends might give.
She seems to be either clearly calculated on this or is extremely selfish. I am not sure which, but either alternative is definitely not friendly, sad to say. And I’m not one to not give the benefit of a doubt.
This move is all about HER.
Post # 16
Remeber that this party is for you! After reading your update it sounds like its going to be just your closest friends, which is great! But don’t let this girl ruin you & your friends fun. Since she is wanting to meet up with this guy from myspace she can have him come to the same bar/club as you (although this party is about the bride our single girlfriends deserve to have fun too!) or if she tries to change your plans and meet up with him, give her the hotel key and wish her a night of fun. Things don’t go excatly the way we wished they would, but try not to get upset and don’t let her actions bother you on your fun weekend.