Another dog….

posted 8 months ago in Pets
Post # 2
Member
4865 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

I feel the same way as you do- my home never feels like “home” unless there is a dog sharing their life with me! I think if you keep bringing up the idea of another dog, perhaps visit some shelters/ breeders together he might soften his stance. It’ll take home. Sorry for your loss.

Post # 3
Member
27 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2019

I can relate to H.  I lost 3 dogs within a year.  It took me a long time to be ready for another dog.   In fact, I was without a dog almost a year and if it wasn’t for my FH I don’t know if I would have a dog now.  

He has 2 dogs and we recently got our first dog together. 

Post # 4
Member
1532 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

elderbee :  as a veterinarian I hear this a lot. I’m sorry for the loss of your dog, they truly are part of the family and a big loss. As you know the grieving process is different for everyone, some people feel more pain when thinking about a new dog, while for others there is more pain with an empty home. I’ve had some clients feel immensely guilty about even considering a new pet shortly after a loss … and others coming in with a new puppy the next week. 

Sometimes there is just so much love leftover from a lost pet, that you need to put it into a new one.  The right per usually presents itself at the right time.  

I’d talk to your husband and ask him why or when he thinks he could be ready (since you said it’s been a few months). Sometimes people need a completely different breed or gender to have the new pet not be too similar to the one who past. 

Post # 5
Member
124 posts
Blushing bee

Hey Bee so sorry for your loss. Its such a hard thing losing those fur babies. I have grown up with dogs my whole life and will admit the few times the house was dogless did feel different but please do not push your husband into something he is not ready for every one grieves at a different pace and although I am sure hed love a dog if he appered I wouldnt want the new puppy to have any negative emotions connected to it. 

Post # 6
Member
517 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

My dog died in an accident unexpectedly. I waited three months, went to the local pound and got a new puppy. Was I over the loss? NO! That’s not something you get over, I was still grieving but I knew she was special and a new dog wouldn’t replace her and it did help me with the loss. It also helped that I wasn’t just buying a new dog but giving a homeless puppy found on the street a home. 

9 years later I am so happy that I have her! I have always been a dog mom and honestly would feel lost without my dog mom responsibilities!  

Post # 8
Member
344 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Born into a house with two huskies I grew up with, and then I had two more huskies until mid-college when my little girl passed. My parents thought about another dog, but we kept only the one until he passed my last year of college. My father didn’t last more than 4 weeks before he wanted to get another, his boy. That boy was very special to him (THEY ALL ARE!!) and when he unexpectedly passed at 9.5 years my father was heartbroken, and it took almost 2 full years that time for him to agree to accept another dog into his life.

Everyone has to grieve in their own way in their own time. I don’t know why one time it took 4 weeks, and the next time it took 2 years. For the record, those 2 years without any dog in my life and our lives were the saddest I remember being. Thankfully he agreed and we got sisters (my husband and I and my parents) and we’ve had the sweethearts for 3.5 years now. 

I am so sorry for your loss. I think the important thing is knowing you are both dog people and will continue to be dog people, even if it takes him a little longer to heal. Despite what anyone ever thinks, you do love again. I never thought I would love another, but almost immediately, you love again. They are all so precious and different. If you are dog people, your heart opens up again and again. They are all unique but they can all be loved.

Post # 9
Hostess
3854 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

elderbee :  I am so very sorry bee.  I am like you where the emptiness of the house after losing a furbaby is more devastating than the thought of adopting another.  When we lost our childhood dog after 15 years, my parents were adament that they were not going to be able to adopt a dog for a long, long time.  A few months later, they impulsively adopted a puppy and had no regrets.  I have no advice, other than asking your husband if he could explain his fears about adopting another dog.  You’ll never be able to replace the furbabies you lost, but loving on another dog could help you both heal. 

Post # 10
Member
871 posts
Busy bee

elderbee : Some people swear off owning another dog because of the grief that comes when it’s time to say goodbye. Tell your husband the time your pup spent on earth was the same time she would have spent with any other family, but you were lucky enough to be chosen to be her parents. You got to spend her whole life with her. There is another pup out there waiting to spend their whole life with you, too. Your girl can’t be here to console you and your husband while grieving; that responsibility now belongs to a new pup. The pup will look after both of you, just like your girl did. Your girl will never be replaced, but you will love your next pup just as much. Reach out to your previous breeder for referrals. Convince him to visit a breeder with you. Even if you ultimately decide to adopt, there is no better therapy than being attacked by a litter of puppies. 

Post # 11
Member
372 posts
Helper bee

Hi bee… I totally get it. I feel like grief is such a personal thing. It took a year before I got another dog after my best friend passed. I knew I would always have a dog but it just didn’t feel right… until it did. You just sometimes don’t know when that will happen.

You may just want to take your husband to a rescue to see dogs, or maybe volunteer for the day. Sometimes it helps when people bond with a specific animal before they can imagine it in their life. 

Post # 12
Member
372 posts
Helper bee

bearinabeecostume :  Agree… Sometimes you have to remind yourself that the joy you get from a pet in life will always far outweigh the grief of losing them. The whole it’s better to have love and lost than never to have loved at all… idea.

Post # 15
Member
3050 posts
Sugar bee

elderbee :  So happy for you! I have some suggestions for her name:

  • Yolanda – from a beautiful love song written by Pablo Milanés, a Cuban songwriter and singer
  • Guillot – the last name of Olga Guillot, a Cuban singer
  • Teresa – the main character of “Retrato de Teresa” (Portrait of Teresa), a great Cuban film

Hope you’ll have her home very soon!

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