Post # 1
Ah, the ongoing saga of my exchange student issues! I have a “what would you do” sort of dilemma – and I’d love some opinions. Many of you read my two previous posts about our issues with our current foreign exchange student (you can read more here and here). As of this weekend, we have additional information and also a new option.
On Saturday, our student was home for the first time for an entire day in over a month. I worked with him to have his room cleaned up, his bathroom cleaned and his sheets washed (FINALLY). At the end of our chat, he told us that at the end of June, he is going back to his home country for the summer.
Then this morning, Homestay contacted us and left a voicemail stating that new students are in fact coming in March to begin Spring semester at the local college. The new students are the same nationality and gender as our current student. In the message, we were told we could in fact get a new student next month – either in addition to the current one or in replacement of.
If we had BOTH students, this would be HUGE financially. The increase in income would be $1250 a month above what we make on my unemployment and my husband’s salary. This actually puts us back to pre-layoff net income levels. It would allow us to make some serious progress on our debt over the course of four months.
So our options are listed above. What would you do and why?
Post # 3
Part of me says to just keep your current student, and end things in June as planned.
But the other part of me would really want the money. LOL.
Post # 4
If you can handle it, why not have both?
Post # 5
Maybe having the 2nd student (of the same nationality and gender) would help your first student adjust a bit more? Assuming you have room for both of them, I can’t see the situation getting any worse by adding another student, but it could probably get a lot better. Alternatively, I’d replace the student. You have certainly given him more than a fair shake at making the arrangement work.
Post # 6
@Krises: We do have the space. The students would each have a furnished bedroom and share a single bathroom between them.
Post # 7
Wow, I say get both! But the money is what is deciding for me haha.
How is the situation with the old one?
Post # 8
@crh1729: Basically the same. Refuses to actually talk with us about anything – key example, the drain in his bathtub was plugging up and he didn’t say anything. When I stood in the bathroom explaining again how to clean it (third time he was shown) he goes “OH!” and shows me the tub full of dirt, hair and residual gunk from having a slow drain. When I asked him how long it had been going on – two weeks. AGAIN I say you have GOT to tell us whenever there is an issue! When we talked two weeks ago, I specifically said to him “you need to tell us if you need something, such as being out of toilet paper” because we at that point knew for a fact that he was out. He said nothing, so I waited. So while we were cleaning, I said “are you out of this?” and he lied to me and said he ran out the day before. I have NO IDEA why this kid refuses to bring up issues or talk to us about things. I’m kind to him and so is my husband.
Post # 9
I voted Other.
I would replace the current student (you have given him way more than enough chances and he doesn’t deserve your generosity, kindness, and welcoming home any longer). Then I would get TWO new students in March for the new semester. So you still get the additional income but can get rid of the student that doesn’t respect you and isn’t thankful for the kindness and welcome you’ve shown him.
Post # 10
@Mrs.KMM: Boy do I feel silly. I honestly didn’t even consider this. I may very well ask if this is an option for us.
Post # 11
@Mrs.KMM: This is a great idea.
I agree with a lot of other commenters that it seems like you’ve put forth every effort for this guy and he is just spoiled and ungrateful.
Post # 12
@Mrs.KMM: Oooh! I didn’t think of this, but I like it as an option.
I think having two students might be good, whether one of them is this current guy or not. If he’s afraid of controntation or whatever, it might help to have two of them so that they can help each other communicate with you, you know?
Question: How long will the new students be staying? Will you ask them to leave in June, even if they’re staying to study longer, or will you consider keeping them/one on past then, even with TTC?
Post # 13
@ddw: As for the TTC part, I think I did a poor job of explaining where we are with that. In my other post, what I was trying to say is that the earliest we would get a new student would most likely be in the fall – and if we began TTC in the fall (which we have been discussing) and I got pregnant immediately, we would be asking that student to leave before June 2012 (i.e. about the point where I would be 6-8 months pregnant.) I didn’t feel right about taking a new student under that possibility.
That being said, my husband and I are working through some personal issues at the moment. I’ve talked before about his depression (a totally new issue post-wedding, one I had no idea we would be dealing with) and he is in treatment for that. We are also seeing a counselor together to work on things. I’m 100% supportive of him getting to a healthy and happy place before we TTC. So until we are ready, we will be holding off.
Post # 14
I like the idea of getting 2 new students. Maybe it will be a completely new situation and could it really be any worse then who you have now?
Post # 15
@christalynn11: okay, that makes sense. If you’ve got a year+ to host, I think it’d be a great idea! Two can’t be much more work than one, if they’re as indepedent as this guy sounds.
Post # 16
This is a great idea. My concern with keeping the 1st student and taking on a 2nd, if they’re both the same gender and same nationality, is that the new student would learn from the old one that this behavior is normal/acceptable. Then you’d have two PITAs under your roof rather than one, which would probably not be worth any amount of money.