- 5 years ago
- Wedding: June 2014
I’ll try to keep this as short and sweet as possible:
So, we are in the process of writing up our final guest list so we can get our save the dates ordered in the next week and we have hit a little road block in the form of Future Mother-In-Law. Our wedding is in Scotland (where Fiance and I live) and his family are coming over from Northern Ireland, so really all the guests on his side need to be there for the whole day.
Our reception venue isn’t the biggest and we are planning on 50/60 max for the whole day, Future Mother-In-Law has decided that entitles her to a say on 25 invites, despite the fact that my parents and Fiance and I are paying for the wedding. It is really not about the money, I don’t expect anyone to fork out for our day, what I do expect is a bit of understanding from her about who WE want there, which leads us to the issue in hand…
Fiance has a pretty big extended family, but he doesn’t speak to a lot of them (just the usual, people move away, some memebers of the family stay closer than others) and so he has decided he only wants to invite his close family, since it is in another country and we have to watch our numbers. Because of this, he isn’t inviting cousins he hasn’t seen for six years, which seems fair enough and isn’t inviting plus ones for all the family, his mother is now up in arms about this.
He phoned them about it last night to try and find a compromise, and she was just screaming and crying down the phone saying how unfair and selfish we are being. She has a history of being like this, but I never expected that from her! They are also refusing to talk to me, but I’m not sure why, since Fiance made it super clear it was his decisions.
I’m not really sure what to do, I feel bad for her being upset but there are only so many people we can invite. I’m a little annoyed that she knows how stressed I am just now (finishing off my masters degree, dealing with undergraduate classes and I’ve recently been diagnosed with significant anxiety and mild depression).
Am I being unreasonable thinking that it should be my Fiance who decided who to invite from his family?
Sorry it ended up so long!
TL/DR – Future Mother-In-Law thinks she can have the final say over who Fiance wants to invite to our wedding.