- 10 years ago
- Wedding: February 2012
I am a regular poster here, but have created this account to…well you know. I am going through a difficult time and I need your advice. A little bit of backstory. As a preface, it’s going to be long. I apologize in advance.
This is all in regards to my Future Sister-In-Law. My FI’s brother’s wife. She hates me. There is no question about it. Without getting too terribly into details (which I will probably end up doing; it’s hard not to), this is basically what happened. Her and her now husband were engaged. My fiancé and I became engaged several months later. She was livid. I mean livid. All of a sudden everything I did became about me trying to one up her. She never even gave me a chance. We met and talked things out and it got a little better. About two months before her wedding I offered to do something for her, she responded with a lengthy email politely declining and but then went on to talk about what my Fiance and I do to make her and her Fiance upset. I wrote back (at the request of my FI) that we just needed to end this and stop trying to be friends. She then wrote some nasty things about me online. Her wedding day came. I sat on the third row next to a cousin. After the ceremony, my Fiance asked if I was to stay for pictures. They said no I was to head to the reception. Fine. I wasn’t happy about it, but whatever. They marry and we don’t talk for quite a few months. Fast forward to about 5 months ago.
I am sitting at work and thinking about everything that has happened. I decide to write her a message (to the FB account she didn’t have me blocked from) asking if we could meet up to talk about what happened. I specifically stated that I didn’t want to argue; that I just wanted to try and put the past behind us. She responded that sure, when? I waited a day to gather my thoughts. She wrote again the next day; “I said yes, when????” I said sorry it took so long…blah blah blah. So she says okay we’ll meet, but let’s keep my Fiance and her now husband out of it. I agree. So the day comes. We head over to a coffee shop to sit down. I start by saying I wanted to meet to discuss what happened and hopefully clear the air. She asks “why all of a sudden I wanted to do this?” and I knew then it was going downhill fast. Some chit chat goes on and then suddenly she pulls out some papers. She starts yelling about how I wrote this about her and that about her online. On my anonymous account here at Weddingbee. Then she proceeds to threaten me with them, stating that if I don’t go back and delete it all and refrain from EVER writing about her again, she will tell my Future Mother-In-Law about everything I wrote. I will have you know, there was NOTHING online I was ashamed of. So some yelling commences. She says I’m obsessed with her and I state that obviously she is, she found my anonymous Weddingbee account. She gets up and walks off. Conversation over.
I call my Fiance to come pick me up. I’m so angry. I am so very pissed. I am flaming! I get in the car and start screaming! He quickly realizes what happened, calls his brother and asks to talk right then about what happened. We are in the parking lot, Fiance gets out of the car and goes on and on about what the heck it was about. His brother trys to defend my Future Sister-In-Law. Fiance says F U and walks off. End of their relationship pretty much.
We get home and I read Fiance EVERY POST I EVER made on Weddingbee. He laughs at the end because he just didn’t understand. Fiance decides to meet with his mom to tell her everything that has ever happened. He gives her my Weddingbee account login and password (with my permission and good graces) she says she feels no need to read it. She trusts my FI’s judgement. She said she was thankful that I tried to meet and fix things and was disappointed it went badly. I was so proud and happy with Fiance. I felt to blessed he decided to do that for me. I just felt so good with everything out in the open. I am just so thankful for that I just don’t know how to express it.
My Fiance and I start having a very healthy relationship without them in our lives. I am much happier and we no longer fight about her and him, ect. Stupid stuff really (in hindsight.)
Fast forward to now. The wedding is vastly approaching. We start discussing the little things. One subject is the photo shot list. Naturally, I am inclided to say she is not to be in ANY of our formal family photos. Fiance said that he didn’t see a big deal. I was angry about that. I am going to leave that there and see what you guys have to say about that topic.
The other is the seating chart. We have a few rows set aside for family and my Future Mother-In-Law has started making the chart for her side. My Future Sister-In-Law is on the FRONT row. Woah. I am just not having it. My Fiance doesn’t understand what the big deal is. What are your thoughts on this?
What is a way to compromise? How do you feel about it given what you’ve read? How would you handle it? What should I do?
I know there are tons of chucks missing seeing as how this has been going on for about two years. Please don’t hesitate to ask for clarification or for other info.
Thanks so much in advance. I know you guys will help me see clearly whether I am right or wrong. I can take it. I just need unbiased opinions.
If you made it to here, I LOVE YOU.
ETA: FI’s brother is a groomsmen.