(Closed) Another FMIL problem…(long)

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
990 posts
Busy bee

You might have to actually buckle down and let her know. Sometimes, thats what it takes. or maybe leave your son at home for some of those sunday dinners until she can get her act together. You dont want to make snide remarks all the time, but you definitely dont want her to think she can do this to you all the time. But you have to let her know, in one way or another.

Maybe beat her at her own game. While she is playing with your son, say something slick and sly like “grandma has all that salt in the food, thats no no for you” or ask her to hold your son for a second and then say “i have to go to the bathroom and be a bad mom for urinating” but thats just me…

Post # 5
226 posts
Helper bee

Well I don’t have any children, so you can take my advice with a grain of salt.

I would tell Future Mother-In-Law that you understand that she loves your son and that you’re grateful for that, but that as his mother you make decisions for your child based on how you want to see him grow up and that those decisions are for you and your FH to make–not her.

Tell her that you don’t want your son to develop a taste for salty fatty foods or that you’re gradually working in adult foods a little at a time or don’t tell her anything at all–just let her know that your decisions are not for her to question. Tell her that if she wants to hold him, just say so, but do not take your baby out of your arms.

Let her know that while her advice is appreciated, the final say does not belong to her and that any interruptions in your caregiving routine based on her whims are unacceptable.

If it’s too hard to say, you may have to go so far as to leave baby home for a couple Sundays as MrsH1010 suggested. I would go over what you want to say and how you want to say it so that you’re composed. Also, make sure that you go over this with FH and let him know that you will need his support.


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