(Closed) ANOTHER friend just got engaged…

posted 12 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
1364 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

You’re not being silly. You’re being human. For the last year every time a friend of mine got engaged there was a little voice in my head that went “eh, it’s never going to be you!” and I’d look askance at the Mr. and wonder.

In the end it started happening so much (12 friends got engaged or married last year. 12! Was there a memo that I missed?!) that I would start to feel very upset whenever I heard of a new engagement. It wasn’t jealousy and I was never angry at my friends. There was just a little part of me that died over and over. 

But then I’m sure that some of my friends (especially judging from their reactions) felt the same when I got engaged.

Just remember that your Mr. wants to make it special and a surprise because he loves you. It won’t make the little bit of sadness go away but it will help get over it a lot faster ๐Ÿ™‚ 

Post # 4
3 posts

Oh yes – I definitely do get sad.


Mr. Smilie and I were engaged for ever and ever – but we never made it official. When I heard that my sister ist going to get married necxt year I even startet crying. It’s not because I don’t want her to get married – I’m really happy for her.. it’s just because…. I wanted it, too.


But now I talked Mr. Smilie into making everything official and start saving money – because we’re going to throw a party noone will ever forget ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 6
1106 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Tannery Pond at the Darrow School

I was the exact same way when I was waiting, onl probably a little bit worse! When my (then) bf’s best friend got engaged, I refused to go meet them with all of our friends to celebrate bc I was too upset and didn’t want to fight with bf and cause a scene and ruin their night…I’m sorry, it sucks but hopefully you won’t be waiting too much longer!

Post # 7
6980 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

Aw, that really sucks!! I used to feel like that sometimes… but I try to keep in mind that I WILL get engaged, and when that happens I’ll want everyone to be happy for me. So I just do my best to be supportive and so excited for my friend!

Post # 8
494 posts
Helper bee

It’s hard to be excited for someone else when you want it to be you.  I try to remind myself to breathe and not to start an argument with the mister.  Most of the time that works.  I also understand about having waited too long–I think we had that conversation a few weeks back.  I think there was an ideal time for a proposal, it was probably some time before I started thinking about getting married.  But oh well, it didn’t happen then and that doesn’t necessarily mean I won’t be happy when it happens.  

Post # 9
749 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Aw, I’m sorry. It’s really hard when the folks around you keep getting engaged. I managed to go out and celebrate with them, but when I got home, I can assure you there were some huffy nights. Fiance doesn’t like to remember those…

Post # 10
4194 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Yes, I used to get very upset – even when I was totally single. Hearing about engagements when I was dating my FH was even worse though – I felt so bad b/c I knew I should be happy for the couple, but I was just consumed with my own feelings/jealousy/whatever. You are human, just like everyone else don’t feel bad.

Oh, and it came back to bite me – when we announced our engagement to our friends the night we got engaged (we had already planned a party, so everyone was over) There were a couple girls who were obviously very jealous and were acting uncomfortable/standoffish around me.

Post # 11
670 posts
Busy bee

It’s normal – and i know it’s hard, so (((hugs))) 

I’ve heard the same complaint from people who are trying to get pregnant – EVERYONE around us seems to be getting pregnant. 

Your time will come when it’s right.  Just hang in there.


Post # 12
3674 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

i got sad, even when my friend was dating her bf for a long time and we were only dating for a few months! it’s very normal when you know and you’re ready.

Post # 13
1456 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

It’s not silly at all! When you see your friends and family getting engaged and married and you’re still waiting, it can be literally painful. Sort of like you’re standing in a foot of snow shivering and peering into the window of a house where they’re having a Christmas party. Not cool at all. ๐Ÿ™

For me, I’ve worked to secure the thought in my head that I will get engaged and married…just not right now. And I don’t think about it from there. Why make it worse by being depressed or bringing it up? Weddings happen. They’re supposed to be happy. It’s not right to begrudge someone their happiness because of your own impatience.

But knowing that doesn’t necessarily make waiting any easier, haha!

Post # 14
1497 posts
Bumble bee

that’s not silly, it’s a natural feeling. i feel the same way when my friends started coupling off and getting engaged/married. you can’t help but feel what you feel. i know the boy is very sensitive about that since it’s been all of my friends getting married [though he doesn’t like it much either since he wishes it were us too!].

i’m always sincerely happy for my friends but i want that for myself as well. and sometimes knowing that it’ll happen when it’s time isn’t enough to curb the sadness.

Post # 15
123 posts
Blushing bee

No your not crazy!! This is the story of my life right now lol. Two of my best friends got engaged on the 4th of july and then another good friend in august! So yeah its crazy and I have been talking to my BF a lot about it, because its all around us and he was like “Just let everyone else be engaged right now and then when we get engaged they will all be jealous” all i could think was “great, thanks” lol

Post # 16
655 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010 - Heron Hill Winery

No not silly at all!  I totally felt all the things you were feeling especially after a friend whom had only been dating their SO for 10 mos..it drove me crazy….fortunately I didn’t have too much longer to wait and was a bride to be 6 months later and couldn’t be happier.

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