(Closed) ANOTHER friend just got engaged…

posted 12 years ago in Waiting
Post # 17
Member
3952 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

It’s not silly at all!  Nope. 

But in my circles b/c we’re older everybody is already married.  I’m the lone ranger.  The singleton as Bridget Jones put it.  And I am in the most amazing relationship and he’s always saying (to my chagrin) that we’re going to get married next summer but I do have a timeline in order to condense two households and move and with finances regarding that.  So I am quite miffed today and have PMS in fact.

Post # 18
Member
830 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Totally ok to feel how you do! Whenever I hear about *yet* another engagement, it pretty much kills the rest of my day/evening. It makes me angry, sad, depressed, frustrated… the whole emotional gammut! Obviously that doesn’t mean I’m not happy for my close friends who are/have gotten engaged or married. But elephants in small rooms eventually become hard to ignore… But please don’t feel like you’re overreacting. You are entitled to feel how you feel. If there’s a constructive way that you can use these incidents and your feelings to pass it on to you SO, it may help move things along.

Post # 19
Member
830 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Miss Sydney – I thought of you last night when my SO informed me that some friends of our were getting engaged last night. BLECH! I can’t stand it anymore!

Post # 20
Member
292 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

You sound just like me lol. I have FIVE friends that have gotten engaged within the last year. All of them have been dating their boyfriends less time than I have been dating mine. I’m so happy for them and glad they’re happy but at the same time, it’s frustrating that I’m not engaged yet. My boyfriend is the same way, wants it to all be perfect and all that stuff, which is very sweet, but I just want to be engaged! Now that I know he has the ring, I feel a little better though. When one of my best friends called me letting me know she was engaged, I was so excited for her and let her know how happy I was for her, but the second I hung up that phone I layed on my bed and cried haha. Pathetic, right?

Our day will come though girl!! We’ve just all gotta stick together and vent to each other while we wait LOL!

Post # 22
Member
5280 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

Ohhh Paris and Italy?! Soooo romantic!! Engaged by your 27th sounds like a winner to me!! I’m hoping for engaged by the time I’m 30 (next July) so here’s good luck vibes to the two of us!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~

Post # 23
Member
547 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

A really good friend of mine just got engaged…I was a little frustrated at first. But now I seem to be living vicariously through her wedding…I keep looking at her venue choices online and buying her wedding planning books and making inspiration boards. It’s a little odd really. But, at least I’m happy right?

Post # 25
Member
5 posts
Newbee

I’m so glad to read all these posts to help me realise that how I am feeling today is fairly normal! My boyfriend’s best friend just got engaged this past weekend and I have never been so affected like this before. I’ve never once felt jealousy or frustration with any friends getting engaged, I’m normally so happy for them. But this one is different for some reason…

These friends of ours have not had the most stable relationship and fight often, and they have been together half the amount of time we have.
The worst part is that my boyfriend has a ring, I chose it and I know he bought it a few weeks back because he is so bad at hiding things from me. We celebrated our 6 year anniversary 3 weeks ago and I really thought that would be the day, but nothing. Turns out he was going to propose that night and even had the ring on him but didn’t feel the moment was right because the restaurant we went to was a bit of a let down and it was a freezing cold night so the mood was not great. But my point is that he is slack and didn’t plan anything to create a nice moment so how did he expect the moment to just fit in with him?

He even asked me if I think it’s ok that he feels a bit upset at his friend getting engaged because he knew my boyfriend was going to propose to me sometime soon and that he sort of “stole his thunder”, which is something his friend does often. I do see where he is coming from, because they are very very close friends, I told him it’s tough luck, you snooze you lose type of thing. If my boyfriend told him 3 weeks ago that he was going to propose to me, and didn’t, then it’s my boyfriends own problem.

He keeps trying to tell me that I mustn’t worry he has it all worked out and I tell him I don’t want to know anything, he must just get on with it. I obviously share things with my closest friends, like when we picked out a ring etc, but now I just look like an idiot when I just never get engaged. It’s just not a nice feeling when you feel it’s your time and then yet another couple gets engaged. I think the worst is feeling like a fool when everyone’s waiting for you to get engaged and you don’t. So many people ask us when we’re getting married and I’ve run out of excuses. I’m at a stage where I just want to walk into my boyfriend’s house and say just put the damn ring on my finger for crying out loud! It’s become so predictable and is no longer spontaneous. My boyfriend said it’s suposed to be spontaneous and that’s what he’s waiting for, a spontaneous romantic moment! So I guess I must just come to terms with the fact that whoever is getting engaged around us has nothing to do with us, and if I try forget about it, it will be a great surprise when the time comes.

Post # 26
Member
37 posts
Newbee

I know you’ve gotten a ton of responses. I thought I would just tell you this. I’m the same way. Especially when it’s a couple that have been together much less time than the BF and I (5 years for us).

My BF makes a good point by saying,”just because they are getting engaged and married doesn’t mean they will be happy.” It sounds strange, but he’s right. Just because they are getting engaged doesn’t mean, oh they have a better relationship than us cuz they can commit. He doesn’t mean it in a way of saying oh i hope they aren’t happy. He just means be happy knowing that we have a plan and we are happy. Know what I mean?

My step mother has also pointed out that what others do is completely irrelevant to my BF and I.

I guess I just tend to set dates in my head…Like oh I know I’ll be engaged at least before so and so..Then when it doesn’t happen it’s like I’ve created this competition in my mind.

I’m still jealous but it helps knowing that just cuz someone else is engaged doesn’t make them better or happier than us. I still see random people with rings and think..uh she must be perfect since her man proposed…Or whatever goes through my mind that day lol. I hope this helps. I know exactly how you feel though.

Post # 27
Member
737 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

YES! So many people I knew from high school are either engaged or married…or better yet…having babies ON PURPOSE! lol. It’s a whole new territory…

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