(Closed) Another girl engaged…

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
2087 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I’m already engaged now, but I felt the same way.  As much as I wanted to be happy for my friends, every time a girlfriend got engaged or pregnant, bought a house… some big step with their hubby, I’d get so jealous.  I’d congratulate and smile and be the good friend, and eventually I WOULD feel happy for them, but usually the first few days I’d privately pout.  The only one who I let see my disappointment was my Fiance. 

A friend had a baby about 2 months before our engagement and I was thrilled for her, but we live so far apart so I couldn’t see the baby, and I was sad that my friends were married and having babies and I was still so far from that (I thought Fiance was another 1.5 years away from proposing)… He actually got a little mad this time and said I should just be happy for my friends and every time this happens I get all depressed. 

So I totally know how you feel.. it sucks watching everyone else get everything you want… but it will happen in time and when it does you’ll feel like it was worth the wait and you’ll forget about how it felt to be so bothered by it!

Post # 4
Member
1210 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2025

Facebook seems to always be the troublemaker for us waiting bees. You could be having a super awesome day and then bam! someone else gets engaged and you still aren’t. It’s silly to be jealous, of course, when you know it’s going to happen for you on your own time, but it still sucks to see someone else getting what you want.

I only have a few weeks left myself, but my feed is full of many of my friends preparing for their summer weddings and it does make me jealous. I know I’m up next, but I’m impatient, and I want it now, lol.

Post # 6
Member
1239 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

@kendra389:  Oh I am struggling with it as well. I’ve got 3 weddings this year alone that are ‘must attends’ and another engagement coming up in June. My SO just told me recently that it will be at least a year and a half. I personally feel like it’s going to take just short of forever, but I’m trying to look on the brightside. It will happen when it does, and sadly, we just have to wait.

 

Good luck on the waiting.

Post # 8
Member
2087 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

what does SUIP stand for?  Yeah, Just try and force yourself to congratulate… I’m sure after a week or so you actually will feel relatively happy for them.  The way I figure it, we really have no control over our emotions.  If you’re upset or jealous, then you just are.  You can’t flip a switch and make it stop.  Wouldn’t that be lovely if we could?  The only thing we can control is how we react to our emotions, how we choose to act.  So if you can be congratulatory and put on a smile, then you’re not letting your emotions get the best of you.  And there’s nothing at all wrong with feeling down or envious, you’re approaching that event in your own life and dyyyyying for it.  It’ll happen, at least you have that knowledge!

Post # 11
Member
2087 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Oh that sounds like a good thread!  I wish I’d heard about it before!! My Fiance told me just before we had our first anniversary that he would probably start thinking about proposing at the 2 year mark… well it didn’t happen til we hit 4 years… so I was pretty impatient, nagged, argued, and eventually promised him I’d NEVER mention it again after the latest argument.  Then I got my proposal 2 months later… felt guilty like maybe he’d done it because of that fight, but he assures me it had nothing to do with that lol

Post # 12
Member
446 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I don’t get too upset when my friends get engaged, but when my younger brother & cousins are engaged/married, then I feel a little disappointment.  I’m the oldest and still just living with my boyfriend and they are becoming families, getting married and having kids.

 

So I totally get it.  Try to think of how you would want them to react if it was your news though, you’d want them to be happy for you.

Post # 15
Member
1541 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I TOTALLY feel the same. I hate seeing others get engaged unless they are close friends and have been with their SO for a significant amount of time. Even my close friends though. I get a little envious, but not in a sulking pouting kind of way.

 

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