- 5 years ago
I know this isn’t exactly the place to ask a questions like these, but I REALLY need some insight.
During the past sixth months, I reconnected with met a guy online two years ago, and we fell head-over-heels for eachother. We have a ton of similarities, and our personalities are extremely compatible. So much so, that he’s even dropped that “M” word a few times. Even all of his friends admitted that it was “different with me”. It was a long distance thing, but we were so connected. This man and I were bestfriends, and we knew it. We talked about things that we’ve never spoken about with others. I planned a visit to go see him (he only lives a state away), and the visit was incredible, so I decided to take the plunge to go and live with him. I met his family and all of his friends, and they all loved me. He’d always tell me that it’s never been like that with any of his other girlfriends. We even had the romantic hug-eachother-and-cry scene in the airport when I left.
Fastforward seven days after I left, (the week after I left went completely fine), we get in a small tiff because we’d both been having hard weeks. He starts getting distant after going to a friend’s wedding the next day, and so I confront him the next day, asking him what’s up and why he’s been acting distant. He tells me that he’s been “having a hard time with the distance”, so I ask him what happened to our plans to move in together. He tells me, “That’s a really big step, honestly. Almost like marriage”, and then says, “dunno. I’m really just not feelin’ it”, and after I told him I understood how he was feeling. He told me that he needed to be alone, so I asked him if he meant for awhile or forever. He said he didn’t know, and removed our relationship status from social media. A week later, after not speaking with him, his best friend contacts me and tells me to reach out to him, saying that his feelings for me were very strong. I text him, asking how he’s been doing, no response. His best friend tells me two days later, “it’s definitely over for good”, wouldn’t tell me why, and that “i know it doesn’t seem like it, but he really does care. Shit just changed”. I know he didn’t meet a new girl, either. Its been two weeks, and I’ve still not heard from him.
I just need help understanding how someone could do such a complete 180 overnight like that and cut me out of their life completely. Our connection was so fucking strong. He even drove me two hours away to meet his family. Is it possible that he was just infatuated? Did he get cold feet and run away from the committment? Do you think he’ll regret it? How long do you think it will take? Do you think he’d come around? I know not to wait around for him, I just want to try and understand the situation so I can cope a little better. I literally was giving up everything so I could come live with this man, I really thought he was the one, and it seemed so mutual. We just clicked, even if we wouldn’t say the “L” word yet. Any insight would be so appreciated.
I feel dumb for forgiving him for being such a dick, I just really feel like he’s the one, even though I’ve been through a few relatively long term relationships.
P.S. He even tried to talk me out of the fact that I wasn’t keen on ever getting married. He knew I didn’t want shared finances either.