- 6 years ago
- Wedding: March 2013
I’ve posted previously about DBF and I doing pre-engagement counseling. Today was our second session and it went really well again, in my opinion.
I wanted to share what she had us do as I think it’s something you can do at home with your Fiance or Boyfriend or Best Friend. Based on John Gottman’s idea of love maps, she gave us each a quiz that had about 40 or so questions on it. We were supposed to answer what we thought our partner’s answer was (kind of like the newlywed game). We wrote them down on the paper (took about 15 – 20 minutes to do) and then went through the answers outloud. She gave each person a point for ones we got right, and to make it more of a contest, she said that the person with the most points got to pick our next dinner spot and the other person had to pay.
Here’s an example of the questions from the Gottman Institute blog. Some of these are the same, and there were some other ones we did that aren’t on here. There are other lists elsewhere online.
DBF and I scored just 1.5 points apart! Of course, I won. But seriously, I was really impressed at how many we got right (even some of them where the question was “Favorite Movie” and both of our answers were – “S/He doesn’t have a favorite movie.”).
The counselor said we knew more about each other than a lot of the married couples that come in, and she was amazed at how alike we are. So that was nice.
It was a great exercise. I’m loving the counseling (even though some tough topics do come up, especially related to family of origin) and it really is helping keep me focused where I should be – on our relationship, not rings/weddings/dresses.
Hope this is helpful to anyone who wants something fun and enlightening to do with their SO and is an encouragement to anyone considering pre-marital/pre-engagement prep counseling.