(Closed) Another Guest List Etiquette Post!

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Do I invite this girl?
    Yes : (15 votes)
    38 %
    No : (25 votes)
    63 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3569 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    Tough situation. But unfortunately I think you should.

    Post # 4
    Member
    3569 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I’m in the same situation sort of.. but it’s with my BEST FRIEND’s a-hole of a boyfriend.. ugh me and my Fiance both dislike him VERY much.. a lot of other guests dislike him as well. But it is my best friend, and I know she’d be upset with me if I didn’t invite him.. so I’m going to suck it up and let the jerk come. I know I’ll be so busy that day and have so many people around I won’t even notice the loser is there.. did I mention I can’t stand him?!

    Post # 5
    Member
    3580 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    Ugh. Any way you can talk to him about it?

    Post # 6
    Member
    3580 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    Or say during their breakup you gave the seat to a family member.

    Post # 7
    Member
    2116 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I would ask him… it’s possible he might not want to bring her…

    Post # 9
    Member
    506 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    @abbie017:  Tough one there. Do you think the friend would be resentful if you didn’t invite her? I would invite her just to keep the peace with my friend and to make him happy. I think you could possibly get away with it if you really wanted to, but it might cause a ton of drama within your group of friends.

    Post # 11
    Member
    7385 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    @Spade504:  <– pretty much. But you can’t say they haven’t been dating for your four month window cause reality is they did date for year plus, regardless of their temporary split, so you reaching there.

    Post # 12
    Member
    506 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    @abbie017:  Eech I just read your other posts above mine about how yall sat down and told him that you didn’t like this girl and why. At this point it shouldnt come as a suprise to him when you say she isn’t invited. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    39 posts
    Newbee

    I have a similar situation with a good friend. His current on and off again girlfriend is a nightmare. She’s crude, trashy and everyone hates her. I fully intend on not inviting her to our wedding.

    I see it this way: It is your day! I do not want people there who I do not want there. Plain and simple. Some will say you should just deal with it and invite her to be nice and you probably won’t see her anyways. But what if you do? What if she makes a scene? She’ll be in your reception pictures, you’ll be paying for her, etc. It may sound super selfish but it should be an honor to be invited to someone’s wedding. I always feel this way when I’m invited to share that day with someone. Since you’ve already explained your feelings about her to your friend then I doubt he will be surprised she’s not invited and if he tries to write her in as a +1, then call him ASAP and just be honest with him.

    She sounds disgusting and I wouldn’t want someone like that at my wedding and odds are, they won’t end up together anyways. Hell, he may even enjoy going without her and having fun with his friends for one night.

    Post # 15
    Member
    1684 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I’d just leave it as is.

    If he wants to bring her, he’ll have to ask you.  Otherwise default to no girlfriend for him.

    I have a similar problem.  I can’t stand one of my friends’ girlfriends.  They’ve been dating for 9 months and during that time she’s had 3 episodes where she has thrown tantrums.  These aren’t crying, yelling tantrums, these are “restrain-her-as-she-tries-to-beat-up-a-stranger-and-busts-walls” tantrums.  She left scars on a man after he rejected her advances (while she was dating my friend).  She’s also caused several hundred dollars in damage.

    There is no way I want her at my wedding.  I’m hoping they break up before hand.  He knows my feelings regarding her, so we will cross that bridge when we get there.

    Post # 16
    Member
    2335 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    I like your +1 guidelines and generally appreciate your etiquette advice in other posts…but in this case, I think you should go with your gut.  If she is going to really bother you (and its obvious she will), don’t invite her!  It is your wedding.

    Similiar to you, my Fiance and I extended +1’s to couples, with the exception of his sister.  She is dating a total loser who is taking advantage of the entire family.  My mild-mannered fiance hates him.  We are prepared that it will upset her, but we’re not going to be annoyed at our wedding by a loser who will only be around for a few more months.  I’m all for etiquette and being a gracious host, but homewreckers have no place at our wedding.  Stick to your guns and make yourselves happy.

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