(Closed) Another "Invite Or No?" Quandary…

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Does he get an invitation?
    Yes : (1 votes)
    3 %
    No : (32 votes)
    97 %
  • Post # 3
    12476 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper

    It’s not necessary to reciprocate just because he invited you to his wedding. Relationships change. 

    Post # 4
    307 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2015


    I’d say no.  You’re friends with her, not her brother.

    Post # 5
    839 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    I don’t think anyone you “can’t stand” should get an invitation. I’m sure as heck not inviting former friends (as in, we purposely aren’t friends anymore) to my wedding just because they invited me to their’s 5 years ago. 

    Post # 6
    9950 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Etiquette Snob here… lol

    Altho issuing “an Invitation in kind” is a thing… it isn’t a MUST DO when it comes to Wedding Invites.

    So you are free to do as you wish, invite him or skip him.

    Hope this helps,


    Post # 7
    12246 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    No way! Not if you don’t like each other!

    Post # 8
    708 posts
    Busy bee

    I think you’re overthinking an invitation that would most likely be declined in kind.

    Post # 9
    1692 posts
    Bumble bee

    Etiquette does say that you should respond to each hostess’s original invitation with an invitation in kind — but you need to understand what etiquette means by “an invitation in kind”. “In kind” refers to the level of entertainment: a dinner for a dinner, an afternoon reception for an afternoon reception, some kind of theatre party or concert for a theatre party or concert. “Respond with an invitation” means to issue your invitation within the same season, if possible, or if necessary early in the next season, and to continue to respond back and forth with one another for as long as you care to keep the relationship alive.

    So that gives you three “outs” from the obligation of inviting Mr Twin. One, you don’t have to respond to a wedding-dinner with a wedding-dinner because (obviously) you would only be able to do that once in your entire life, and the obligation is a recurring one, so any sort of dinner would fulfil your obligations if you still had any. But Two, the obligation persists for as long as you care to keep the relationship alive, and neither of you wants that — even if you actually had a relationship. Which you don’t, because Three, the obligation was to reciprocate within the same season or early in the next season — so if his wedding was more than a year ago, that boat has sailed.

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