Post # 1
Hiya bees! Another invite question for you…
I live in LA but I’m originally from Boston. A friend of mine from home (who will be invited) has a twin brother. When he was married, I was invited to his wedding largely out of courtesy–because he invited the rest of my friend group. I declined the invitation at the time.
Now it’s time for me to start sending out save the dates and solidifying our already-massive guest list. I don’t really want to invite him because, frankly, I can’t stand him and he doesn’t like me either. But etiquette might say that I should respond to his original invitation with an invitation in kind.
So what do you think? Invite or no invite?
Post # 3
It’s not necessary to reciprocate just because he invited you to his wedding. Relationships change.
Post # 4
I’d say no. You’re friends with her, not her brother.
Post # 5
I don’t think anyone you “can’t stand” should get an invitation. I’m sure as heck not inviting former friends (as in, we purposely aren’t friends anymore) to my wedding just because they invited me to their’s 5 years ago.
Post # 6
Etiquette Snob here… lol
Altho issuing “an Invitation in kind” is a thing… it isn’t a MUST DO when it comes to Wedding Invites.
So you are free to do as you wish, invite him or skip him.
Hope this helps,
Post # 7
No way! Not if you don’t like each other!
Post # 8
I think you’re overthinking an invitation that would most likely be declined in kind.
Post # 9
Etiquette does say that you should respond to each hostess’s original invitation with an invitation in kind — but you need to understand what etiquette means by “an invitation in kind”. “In kind” refers to the level of entertainment: a dinner for a dinner, an afternoon reception for an afternoon reception, some kind of theatre party or concert for a theatre party or concert. “Respond with an invitation” means to issue your invitation within the same season, if possible, or if necessary early in the next season, and to continue to respond back and forth with one another for as long as you care to keep the relationship alive.
So that gives you three “outs” from the obligation of inviting Mr Twin. One, you don’t have to respond to a wedding-dinner with a wedding-dinner because (obviously) you would only be able to do that once in your entire life, and the obligation is a recurring one, so any sort of dinner would fulfil your obligations if you still had any. But Two, the obligation persists for as long as you care to keep the relationship alive, and neither of you wants that — even if you actually had a relationship. Which you don’t, because Three, the obligation was to reciprocate within the same season or early in the next season — so if his wedding was more than a year ago, that boat has sailed.