Post # 1
I know there are millions of these posts but I cannot find my particular issue!
My parents divorced about 5 years ago and since then my father has been out of my life almost completely (his choice). I am not inviting him to our wedding. My mother remarried a few years ago and I love my stepdad but he did not raise me so I am having some problems writing “their daughter” on the invites. My mom is paying for the biggest chuck of the wedding and I want her to have “credit”, if you will.
She wants me to write:
Mrs. Barbara and Mr. Bob Smith
request the pleasure of your company
at the marriage of their daughter
But I am 1) unsure of the wording of their names (she wants her first name mentioned) and 2) not going to put “their”.
So should I take out the Mr. and Mrs. and just write “Barbara and Bob Smith”? Or does what I have sound ok?
I’m going to talk her out of the “their” daughter and write “her” instead since I am not comfortable with that, even though I know he would be honored. It just doesn’t sit right with me.
Post # 3
I had to double check mine…but they did not include “their daughter” in the verbiage and it looks just fine.
Mine simply read mr. and mrs so and so request the honor of your presence at the nupital mass of
and yes, I had my mother and stepfather listed above our names. but also incuded my single father and my FI’s single mother…I think I have a pic of my invites posted in a thread I started if you wanna see how it turned out.
Post # 4
@fresitachulita: obviouisly you woulnd’t want to put nupital mass unless you are having one…there are varios ways to subsitute using simplat “at the marriage of” or “to whitness the exchange of marriage vows” etc. etc.
Post # 5
It’s not correct to use the titles like that. I would either list it as Mr. and Mrs. Bob Smith or Barbara and Bob Smith if you want her name to be listed on the invite.
Post # 6
I would probably put “Mr. & Mrs. Bob (Robert?) Smith” or “Bob Smith & Barbara Smith request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of Your Name & FH’s Name”
ETA: Edited because I was typing and not thinking & said the wrong thing
Post # 7
yeah, I actually think it’s appriate to spell out both parents names, no mr/mrs is needed, especialy if they have different last names and as I understand the wife’s name is always listed first. I had a stationer help me along the way with what was proper.
Post # 8
If you want to keep the “daughter” language, I would write “Bob and Barbara Smith request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of her daughter.”
I’m in a very similar situation to you and we went with
“Together with their parents
Fred and Wilma Flintstone
Barney and Betty Rubble
request the pleasure of your company…”
Post # 9
Yes, the woman’s name is always listed first, because you don’t separate a man’s name from his last name. The only exception to this is when you’re saying Mr. and Mrs. Barney Rubble.
Post # 10
Ok I think I’m going to go with Mom’sFirst Middle and StepdadsFirst Middle Last. After playing around on the invitations that looks the best asthetically and meets my mom’s requirement 🙂
And I’m sticking with “her daughter”.
Thank you bees!!
Post # 11
@spm: There is a traditional correct wording for this situation. Even before divorce was ubiquitous, it happened, and widowed mothers remarried, and they still gave receptions in celebration of their daughters’ weddings. The traditional wording would be:
Mr and Mrs Robert Smith
request the honour of the presence of
<write in guests’ names>
at the wedding of her daughter
Susan Patricia Milne
Mr Guy Handsomon
“her daughter” is used instead of “their daughter”, by reason of simple accuracy. No honourific is used for the bride because she is intimately connected to the hosts; but the bride’s surname, usually omitted because it is the same as her mother’s surname, is included because the mother has changed her name. Ladies nowadays often prefer to use their given name with their husband’s surname, rather than taking both names, so an equally proper first line would be “Mr Robert Smith and Ms Barbara Smith”, or despite some etiquette writers’ attempts to codify titles more rigidly “Mr Robert Smith and Mrs Barbara Smith” if that is the title the lady prefers, or even “Mrs Barbara Smith and Mr Robert Smith” if for some reason she insists on shrugging off her husband’s traditional protective precedence.