Post # 1
So initially we were planning to have a no young kids (younger than 10) wedding. Then I found out one of my bridesmaids is having a baby 4 weeks before the wedding, and she lives halfway across the country without family nearby that can watch her kids. But I want her to be there, so I accepted she would have to be an exception and moved on.
Recently found out that one of FI’s Out of Town groomsmen will also have a newborn by the time the wedding rolls around, so another one we have a hard time excluding, because otherwise he probably can’t come.
And now the issue, if we let these 2 babies come, how can we exclude others? So if we say people with Out of Town kids can have their children come, we will wind up with 4 newborns at the wedding. If we get more exclusive and say only Out of Town family’s children, it will be 3 newborns.
My issue is the ceremony. I don’t think I mind kids at the reception, but the thought of a baby crying during my ceremony horrifies me. And with 3-4 newborns around, that seems like a distinct possibility.
So what to do? Can I somehow ask these people to not bring their babies to the ceremony and just to the reception? Or cross my fingers and just hope none of them cry?
Post # 3
Personally I think newborns will need to be with their mothers, not that I am a mother so perhaps I’m not the best. If your bridesmaid has a newborn is she really going to be able to be in your wedding? I know that sounds silly but when my god daughter was born her mother wasn’t away from her for more than an hour tops (she could leave her but not go away, like leave her with her husband or in her crib) and this is especially important if she is breastfeeding. I don’t think you can ask newborns not to come to the ceremony, unless their parents don’t come either. Does that make sense. Totally know how you feel with babies crying though.
Post # 4
Newborns are a lot different than kids of any other age. They really should be with their mom, especially if they are breastfeeding. I would keep it at no kids under ten, except the newborns.
Post # 5
@T-Rex: <<this, she says it much better than me 🙂
Post # 6
I believe you can invite newborns and not children.
Post # 7
I am sure if the newborn starts wailing someone will take the child out of the room/ear shot. Personally, if I was asked to leave my newborn at home I would be very offended.
Post # 8
I have taken 2 newborns to weddings. I stood in the back in case baby started fussing during the ceremony. That way I coud make a quick exit. Just to ease your mind, neither baby cried at either wedding. They slept through most of the receptions too. Hopefully the newborns at your wedding will do the same.
Post # 9
Is there any way for your Bridesmaid or Best Man & Groomsmen to bring someone with them to watch the babies?
I’m in the “no infants at the ceremony” club. Those little humans are very unpredictable and can break out into blood curdling screams at any time. Even if their caregivers are quick to remove them, there is still a distraction. I won’t go into the whole spiel since I don’t want to scare you but I have been at weddings where newborns were in attendance and there was noise. LOTS of noise. While I’m sure there are plenty of babies who will be as quiet as can be, there are also many who will not and you can’t always rely on the caregiver to be bright enough to remove them.
Our niece was 2 months old when we were married and even she wasn’t invited to the wedding. My SIL arranged for her parents to come out that weekend so that they could watch the baby in their hotel room (we were married at the same resort). My SIL went back and forth between the ballroom and hotel room to feed the baby. It worked out flawlessly.
Post # 10
Newborns especially breastfed ones need to be with mom, no ifs ands or buts about it. just limit the exceptions to your bridal party and keep your original plan. Even if there was a baby sitter at a wedding, if my newborn baby couldnt be with me.. (especially when I was a first time mom) there would be no point in me going.. because I would not be able to sit still.
Post # 11
have your officiant say something at the beginning about taking the babies out of the room if they start crying…common sense would say that they’d do this anyway (and as a mother i know i was extremely conscious of and worried about any kind of noise my son makes ANYWHERE), but just in case. i know there’s a tactful way to do it, i was just reading another thread a few days ago where someone suggested it and now i can’t remember. i think that bride’s issue was that they were streaming the ceremony online for overseas family members who couldn’t make it or something. but yeah, there’s got to be a way to make sure there are no crying babies during the ceremony but still have these people there.
Post # 12
I think that nurslings should not be expected to be left at home. As a mother of two, I know that I would do everything to prevent my baby from crying (including standing outside for the entire ceremony, if needed). If 3 of the newborns are bridal-party related, I’m sure you are close enough to the parents to ask that they do the same. Also, consider offering a loving aunt/grandma/nanny to hold a baby during the ceremony if needed.
Post # 13
Are you getting married in a church? Most churches have “mother’s rooms” that can be utilized…
Post # 14
Hire a babysitter to watch the newborns during the ceremony, or else just let them (the babies) attend. Parents know to remove a crying child from a wedding ceremony.
Post # 15
sounds like a sitter issue. just to make it through your ceremony
Post # 16
I am saying no children at my wedding but lettting my Future Sister-In-Law bring her 3 kids because it will cost her extra $$ to find a babysitter. It’s your day so its your call. If people give you a hard time just say there were part of the wedding and the kids were a package deal.