(Closed) Another Kids Exception…

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Is it Rude to only invite family members 18 and older to eliminate most cousins?
    Yes : (6 votes)
    25 %
    No : (18 votes)
    75 %
  • Post # 3
    4803 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I have no idea whether or not this is widely accepted as ok…but let’s just say if I was say 15 and my sister was 18, and she got to go and I didn’t, I would be majorly peeved!!

    Post # 4
    5544 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: December 2011

    I think it usually is okay to set an age on the kids, but I do agree with PP, how far apart are the younger siblings? Becuase that would be super hurtful to not be invited if they are within 5 years or so. Especially since they are family. 

    Post # 5
    5993 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2010

    i do not think its rude to put a age limit – i mean its your event, your dime and kids (and their parents) need to learn the word no sometimes

    Post # 6
    4803 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I think if you do decide to do this you should call the family in question and kind of just explain.  Because they might be like, why is one teenager’s name on the invite and not another?  But if you explain that it’s over 18 (technically adult?) they might get it.

    Post # 7
    3775 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: December 2004

    I think it doesn’t matter wheather they like it or not.  It is your wedding, do what you want and don’t feel bad about your choices.  Enjoy it your way. 🙂

    Post # 8
    2584 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    After the 17/18 year old cousins, how old are the next oldest ones? If they’re 15 or 16 they might be hurt, but if they’re more like 12 or 13 it’s a fair cutoff. Of course, either way it’s your wedding and you’re perfectly free to do what you want. But as a mature 20 year old who is the youngest cousin on both sides of the family, I can tell you how hurt I was to be left out of everything because of my age.

    Post # 9
    6065 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: January 2012

    @MademoiselleL: I agree.

    I do think you should invite who you want, and keeping it 18 and over is fine! You want an adult event, which I believe is perfectly acceptable.

    But it would be a good idea to call the family and explain. You could say that you feel strange about inviting only some of the family, but that if you made exceptions for them you’d have to make them for all the children…

    Post # 10
    187 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    Obviously you are free to do what you want. It is not illegal to not invite people. But just because you are the bride or groom does not mean you will be immune to any fall out if you hurt feelings.  I’d be very careful about splitting up siblings if they all live together.  It’s just going to be awkward, and feelings will be hurt. 

    Post # 11
    4361 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2018

    I agree that splitting up families is bad, you’d be better off not inviting any children of a particular couple, rather than some and not others.

    Another thing to remember is this:  if you’re not inviting kids, say 12 and under, what will their parent do about childcare?  They can’t be left of their own but if they are family, like cousins, I’m assuming their parents and grandparents will be at your wedding. Childcare on a Saturday for that length of time can be impossible.

    My mum has never really forgiven my cousin, and his wife, for not inviting myself and my brothers to his wedding because it meant she couldn’t go. (6 hour round trip excluding the actual wedding!)   We’re a really close family, it was my mums only nephew and one of my brothers is his godson.

    So I guess what I’m saying is be prepared for hurt feelings, and people with kids having no choice but to decline invitations.

    Post # 13
    415 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    @Mrs.Jaquay2B:  Its way better to tell those cousins NOW.  Just say to them “We aren’t inviting anyone under 18.  I’m very sorry but we had to make cuts”.   

    Your aunts and uncles have already assumed that their kids were invited, so you have to correct that.  People clearly don’t understand, so you have to “be rude” and tell them their assumptions were incorrect.

    The topic ‘Another Kids Exception…’ is closed to new replies.

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