(Closed) Another Lopsided Wedding Party Question: GBF on groom's side?

posted 4 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
252 posts
Helper bee

I wouldn’t invite him to stand up there since he is not a groomsmen. Adding people for the sake of symmetry seems very odd. Just go with the flow. Nobody will care.

Post # 3
10315 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

Your friends should stand on the side of the person they are closest to. 

Post # 4
9632 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

i had 3 female and 1 male on my side, dh had 5 males on his side.

my brother who stood on my side wore the same thing as the groomsmen.

our sides were uneven and i had mix of women and 1 man.  nothing looked weird and it was exactly as we wanted it.


Post # 5
164 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

I have 6 bridesmaids, and he has 10 groomsmen! I also started out worried about the symmetry, but I’ve since just decided it is what it is. I definitely didn’t want to ask Fiance to exclude people for symmetry-sake. 

I personally would not ask my male friend to “switch sides” just for the looks of it. There’s a reason you asked him to stand up nex to YOU, and I think the matching sides is way overrated. Honestly, the more I see mismatched parties, the more I think it’s awesome. It means the bride and groom just wanted their nearest and dearest there, without counting numbers. 

Post # 6
183 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

How about mixing them all up? I don’t think people have to stand on the “right” side – they’re all there to support you as a couple!

Post # 7
367 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

we had a lopsided wedding party- as long as you don’t do the ‘everyone stands in a row’ pics, it looks awesome 🙂 I had one Maid/Matron of Honor and DH had 3 Groomsmen… it was how it was always going to be. I actually love the look of our bridal party pics as they aren’t the standard poses 🙂

Oh, and I struggled to find a dress for my Maid/Matron of Honor (she’s pretty fussy lol) so I don’t envy you 7 BM’s, but if that’s your crew, then go for it!

Post # 8
585 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

7 and 4 is fine. we’re having 3 and 5 (the other way, 5 groomsmen). I think it’s totally fine. Groomsmen kind of fade away in their dark suits anyway in the ceremony photos, and your guests are definitely more focused on the bride’s side during the ceremony because of all the fanfare. 

Post # 9
59 posts
Worker bee

Have you considered asking your friend how he feels about it? If he has a strong opinion, you could leave it.  If he is ok with either, you could move him.


Post # 10
5778 posts
Bee Keeper

View original reply
lauren1027 :  You say it’s not necessary to point out that one of your bridesmaid’s is gay- but you not only point it out, you include it in the thread title. Well okay, so subtlety isn’t your strong suit, but I’m assuming you’re not homophobic since he’s one of your closest friends. A bit misguided though if you’re treating him differently than you’d treat a straight male friend…..it’s unclear why you think he’d be uncomfortable standing with the other guys? Are you confusing being gay (which is about sexual orientation) with being transgender (which is about gender identity and if this was the case she’d be a trans-woman not a gay man)? Or you could simply want him on your side since he’s closest to you? Why not ask your friend his preference? 

However you choose to do it, I think asymetrical looks great actually, whether it’s mismatched dresses, asymetrical numbers, mixed genders etc. FWIW I was a Bridesmaid or Best Man in a 2 groom wedding and we stood up with whichever groom we were chosen by/ closest to. And my DH’s ‘Best Man’ was his daughter and she stood up with him on his side. 

Post # 11
7199 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

View original reply
lauren1027 :  Ive seen it both ways- all men on the groom’s side regardless of who they “belong” to, and mixed genders on one or both sides. 

For what it’s worth- my GBF stood on my side (we were lopsided as well) and escorted my cousin (female) who was also our officiant up/down the aisle. I don’t think it matters that he’s gay and he wasn’t offended by having to walk with a lady or anything. 

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