Post # 1
So I have come to terms with the fact that our wedding party is going to be lopsided, symmetry is overrated, etc.
I can’t get over HOW lopsided it is. At the current moment, I have 7 (yeah that’s right, I said 7. I used to be like you, thinking that a smaller wedding party was better. But here I am, wracked with guilt. with 7 contenders) bridesmaid contenders. My fiance has 4.
One of my bridesmaids is my male friend. He also happens to be gay, and I don’t think that’s necessary to point out… except I am wondering if I am being super insensitive if I ask him to stand on the groom’s side for some of that symmetry I earlier claimed to have sworn off of. I have this whole order of how we could do the procession walking down the aisle that would line up perfectly with him on the other side, and then our parties are at least closer to being even.
I just don’t want there to be anything read in that I have him on my groom’s side. He would be wearing what they’re wearing, it would even out better, that’s it. Any thoughts?
Also if anybody wants to just throw in some validation on how having 7 bridesmaids isn’t a bad thing, that would be cool too.
Post # 2
I wouldn’t invite him to stand up there since he is not a groomsmen. Adding people for the sake of symmetry seems very odd. Just go with the flow. Nobody will care.
Post # 3
Your friends should stand on the side of the person they are closest to.
Post # 4
i had 3 female and 1 male on my side, dh had 5 males on his side.
my brother who stood on my side wore the same thing as the groomsmen.
our sides were uneven and i had mix of women and 1 man. nothing looked weird and it was exactly as we wanted it.
Post # 5
I have 6 bridesmaids, and he has 10 groomsmen! I also started out worried about the symmetry, but I’ve since just decided it is what it is. I definitely didn’t want to ask Fiance to exclude people for symmetry-sake.
I personally would not ask my male friend to “switch sides” just for the looks of it. There’s a reason you asked him to stand up nex to YOU, and I think the matching sides is way overrated. Honestly, the more I see mismatched parties, the more I think it’s awesome. It means the bride and groom just wanted their nearest and dearest there, without counting numbers.
Post # 6
How about mixing them all up? I don’t think people have to stand on the “right” side – they’re all there to support you as a couple!
Post # 7
we had a lopsided wedding party- as long as you don’t do the ‘everyone stands in a row’ pics, it looks awesome 🙂 I had one Maid/Matron of Honor and Darling Husband had 3 Groomsmen… it was how it was always going to be. I actually love the look of our bridal party pics as they aren’t the standard poses 🙂
Oh, and I struggled to find a dress for my Maid/Matron of Honor (she’s pretty fussy lol) so I don’t envy you 7 BM’s, but if that’s your crew, then go for it!
Post # 8
7 and 4 is fine. we’re having 3 and 5 (the other way, 5 groomsmen). I think it’s totally fine. Groomsmen kind of fade away in their dark suits anyway in the ceremony photos, and your guests are definitely more focused on the bride’s side during the ceremony because of all the fanfare.
Post # 9
Have you considered asking your friend how he feels about it? If he has a strong opinion, you could leave it. If he is ok with either, you could move him.
Post # 10
lauren1027 : You say it’s not necessary to point out that one of your bridesmaid’s is gay- but you not only point it out, you include it in the thread title. Well okay, so subtlety isn’t your strong suit, but I’m assuming you’re not homophobic since he’s one of your closest friends. A bit misguided though if you’re treating him differently than you’d treat a straight male friend…..it’s unclear why you think he’d be uncomfortable standing with the other guys? Are you confusing being gay (which is about sexual orientation) with being transgender (which is about gender identity and if this was the case she’d be a trans-woman not a gay man)? Or you could simply want him on your side since he’s closest to you? Why not ask your friend his preference?
However you choose to do it, I think asymetrical looks great actually, whether it’s mismatched dresses, asymetrical numbers, mixed genders etc. FWIW I was a Bridesmaid or Best Man in a 2 groom wedding and we stood up with whichever groom we were chosen by/ closest to. And my DH’s ‘Best Man’ was his daughter and she stood up with him on his side.
Post # 11
lauren1027 : Ive seen it both ways- all men on the groom’s side regardless of who they “belong” to, and mixed genders on one or both sides.
For what it’s worth- my GBF stood on my side (we were lopsided as well) and escorted my cousin (female) who was also our officiant up/down the aisle. I don’t think it matters that he’s gay and he wasn’t offended by having to walk with a lady or anything.