(Closed) Another month BFN :-(

posted 4 years ago in TTC
Post # 2
Member
176 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

View original reply
beesy2015:  girl, 4 months is totally normal and nothing. I know it’s frustrating but I’m on month 13 so…. 

Post # 4
Member
1310 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I definitely feel you. We are starting our 4th month of trying…and same thing, I obviously know it takes people way longer–but that doesn’t stop the disappointment each month when AF arrives. We all know what everyone says…it can take up to a year for a perfectly healthy couple to get pregnant, yet, we all hope we’re the kind of people who get lucky the first time. I am surrounded by pregnant women it seems, all who seemed to have had a very easy time getting pregnant. It’s very hard to stop yourself from feeling any jealously. πŸ™ 

Post # 5
Member
15001 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Well, at sometime prior to 3.5 years I just started to get numb to it.  I can’t even remember when that transition happened cause it’s been so effing long ago…

Post # 6
Member
236 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m right there with you, I’m in month 9 (in the TWW now).  I’m struggling also with the trying to not be too obsessed with the tracking.  Last month AF was 3 days later than normal, and that was tough for me to see the negative tests and then have it come late.

Post # 7
Member
1863 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

View original reply
beesy2015:  it’s totally normal. We’re at the 19 month mark and I’m waiting for AF to show up tonight so we can start again. The feelings of jealousy, (even when they’re your best friends!) are real and they can be hard to work with.  Give yourself some grace the next few days and remember that it’s not a reflection of you at all.

It helps me to have something new to try each cycle to see if that helps and to try and plan something fun to do with Darling Husband during the month. I don’t know if that would help you or not, but it might. 

Post # 8
Member
1445 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

View original reply
beesy2015:  I was very frustrated at the 4 month point in TTC too! I had a SERIOUS meltdown when AF showed up that month, which was strange because I was initially on the fence about having more kids (2 teens from a previous relationship). I knew logically that for healthy couples it could take up to a year and my doctor wouldn’t even consider fertility testing before 6 months (despite my age), but I was 35 with my bday just around the corner and have thing “thing” about not wanting to be too old when the baby is born. In fact, 35 was initially my cutoff point for having more kids. Who knew that I’d meet my Darling Husband and wind up getting married at 35?!

Anyway, ((hugs)) to you. I know that a BFN is hard no matter what stage of TTC you’re in. Be kind to yourself and just remind yourself that the chances are great that you will eventually conceive because most healthy couples do eventually when they are actually trying. 

Also, don’t feel bad about expressing frustration now. We’re here to support each other and of course there are those who have it harder than you, but Your expression of pain/frustration doesn’t invalidate anyone else’s experience.

To give you my ending, I got pregnant the very next cycle after that EPIC meltdown against a BUNCH of odds (poor timing, very little sex that month-only twice the whole month). My calculator says that my date of concelotion was likely my 36th bday and I’m due 3 days after DH’s 43rd bday. Best of luck to you!!!

Post # 9
Member
357 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

View original reply
beesy2015:  I feel you!  We just started cycle 5 and I had a pretty major meltdown when AF showed up last week. As if AF wasn’t bad enough, I got 3 different pregnancy announcements – 2 of which were people who where in their first month trying. It was a really tough week. Hang in there.

Post # 10
Member
172 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

We just started cycle 6 ttc#2.  I’m right there with you.  In the scheme of things, not a long time at all.  But, that doesn’t make it easier when you time it perfectly and are surrounded by those girls who get pregnant on accident or the first time trying.

Post # 11
Member
8752 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I feel you but try to not make yourself crazy yet! 1.5 years in and I can tell you it’s a bummer every month. But we had our first appointment with the specialist last week after initial testing showed no obvious reason we shouldn’t have conceived by now and moving forward helps! Depending on your age you should check with your doctor on when you can start testing if you think that will make you feel better. 

Post # 12
Member
1082 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I had my first major meltdown at 6 months, and didn’t conceive until my 15th cycle. My biggest regret during that time is definitely all the jealousy I allowed myself to feel – it’s just a nasty vibe to have and spreads negativity. And now being at the other end of it, it sucks. It’s funny, as soon as I let go and allowed myself to feel happy and celebrate other people, I got pregnant! Try to keep your thoughts positive. Good luck 

Post # 13
Member
4998 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I wish it got better but it gets harder and harder. After 2 failed IVF transfers, I hardly even recognize myself. Five cycles isn’t indicative of anything yet, and you’ll probably be fine.

Post # 14
Member
1450 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
beesy2015:  I understand how you’re feeling.  We are only in our 3rd month of trying and I’m already feeling this way.  I think I’m so fearful that there is something wrong with one of us (I felt this way before we started trying, but no reason to think that).  Two of my co-workers and I all started trying at the same time and by the 3rd month I’m the only one who isn’t pregnant yet.  It’s hard.  Again I know that it takes awhile but sometimes for your head to communicate with your heart, its hard. 

I know we will be parents one way or another but not knowing when or how it will happen is hard and it doesn’t make the heartache easier in between.

The topic ‘Another month BFN :-(’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors