Post # 121
Now that I think about it, you make a great point. Who is going to notice a baby? The might cry, well a guest might get hammered and act like a jackassss, great aunt tilly might have a heartattack. Might, might, might. Baby doesn’t cost a cent and it will keep the peace. Even if the kid was 3, food would still probably be free Under 13 the meal is crazy cheap. Why start off on the wrong foot? Can say its your day all you want…but what about every other day for the rest of your life? Will you really be ok with your in laws not showing up? Yeah, good point made, I would just avoid the drama and let the baby come.
Post # 122
I agree with what you are saying “kids are your world not the world to everyone else..” and I agree wholeheartedly with you. Hell , I don’t even have kids so I don’t have any mommy bias. But to play devil’s advocate, can’t we just as easily say your wedding will not be as important to anyone else?
Post # 123
I don’t think it’s wrong to want a child-free wedding. But when your future in-law expressed how important this was for them, I think you should have compromised. I really don’t see how “standing you ground” in this situation would have resulted in any good, other than you getting what you want. Yes, it’s your wedding, but is having a no-exception child-free wedding worth all this hurt and starting off your marriage with a terrible relationship with your future family? Honestly, I doubt it.
Yes, they are being manipulative and unreasonable, but it’s still very unfortunate that you’ve burned a bridge with your in-laws just because you didn’t want to make an exception for the baby. I don’t know, but I think life is too short for that.
Post # 124
Although I agree that it is not a nice way to start a marriage, they are the ones who never tried to compromise. Had from the beginning they been nice about it, we would’ve compromised. But for 3 months my fiancé and I have been subject to abuse, threats and basically harassment, I feel I shouldn’t act like that behaviour is ok. If I go along and say it’s ok to do that to get your way then I’m validating their behaviour. the thing is, it wasn’t just about the baby, they chucked a hissy about us having a vegetarian wedding as well. As my fiancé and I are paying for our wedding completely, I don’t understand how people have a right to criticise. Everyone has a right to an opinion but they do nothing but criticise.
Post # 125
the thing is she WAS willing to compromise but they instead of being adults and actually speak to her and her Fiance, chose to treat them like crap over this. I don’t think its right for them to do that, so I think THEY burned the bridge first. They immediately said oh we aren’t going, and saying mean things. Had they been adults I think things would have played out differently.
Post # 126
forget them! Ugh my Mother-In-Law bitched about so much during our wedding that I finally said. Its an invitation not an obligation. That shut her up, especially when she saw the amount of people that agreed. So basically I told her , come or not I could care Less. My mom was going to be there and that’s all that really mattered to me. (Or course I didn’t say this directly but she got the hint, so did my Brother-In-Law who threatened not to come cause he wasn’t best man). They tried to guilt trip me but once again MY brother would be there so um… That doesn’t affect me one bit.
Post # 127
You’ve got some odd, guilt trippy posts from others here. You made the right decision, his family is being assinine.
Post # 128
Absolutely, I would completely agree with that. Your wedding is really only truly important to you and your partner, and possibly parents and that’s likely it. Not to say other people aren’t truly excited for you, but it won’t mean as much to them as it does to you.
That being said, regardless, even if my wedding isn’t important to my sister, or SIL, that doesn’t mean they get to dictate to me who they bring along. I know you’re not arguing that or anything, I just meant to point out that the SIL is the one who made a big deal, and frankly, if the wedding isn’t very important to her, she should just not come if it’s going to be this big of an issue.
Post # 129
I got so angry reading this, I can’t believe that people like your fiancé’s family exist! I’m glad you’ve stood your ground and am so sorry that this has happened to you.
I hope that you will enjoy your wedding day nevertheless.