(Closed) Another "no kids" wedding issue!

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I guess you’ll just have to keep repeating what you’ve already told her if you’re set on not allowing her son there.  This is exactly why it’s best to have an “all or none” rule, because not everyone thinks it’s okay to have exceptions when they have been inconvenienced to find a sitter while someone else doesn’t have to.

Sorry you’re going through this, but it might just be easier to allow her to bring her son and alleviate the tension between you two.  If you’re already allowing a couple of kids, another one won’t make a difference.

ETA: If this Bridesmaid or Best Man is close enough friends with you to be in your bridal party and you’ve never met your half-sister, she might be feeling pretty slighted by the fact that you’re making an allowance for someone you’ve never met instead of making an allowance for someone you know very well.  Just a thought to consider.

Post # 4
Member
9955 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

ALL OR NONE is certainly the best way to handle Kids at Weddings (less sass from the RUDE Guests)

BUT, as this is what it is… your only reply at this point in time should be… they are coming because THEY ARE MY NIECE / NEPHEW

That will certainly out-trump any other random kids IMO… and will make it clear where you are drawing the line… Siblings Children are OK (so no one else, family or friends, wants to stick their toes in now somewhat ajar door, and push it open farther)

Good luck (hang tough)

 

Post # 7
Member
964 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I just attended a wedding this past weekend and the only kids were the 2 flower girls and the ring bearer.  The one flower girl fell asleep even before the ceremony.  The other 2 little monsters  ran, jumped, screamed, pushed.  OMG!  The ring bearer almost knocked the cake over.  This whole time the parents just sat there and called their name and told them to stop.  They never made them sit.  I think parents  become immune to the bad behavior.

If you know that this little boy will be a headache at your wedding, don’t cave in.   A family member traveling from another country I think should be an exception any way.

Post # 8
Member
327 posts
Helper bee

just tell her it’s your wedding, you can do whatever you want. and they are your families that you havent seen for a long time. i think that reason is enough to invite kids to the wedding. 

Post # 9
Member
224 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I think it is clear cut. This is your niece/nephew you have NEVER met! Of course you would want to be around them as much as possible.

Post # 10
Member
224 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I think it is clear cut. This is your niece/nephew you have NEVER met! Of course you would want to be around them as much as possible.

Post # 11
Member
328 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I may be making an assumption but it sounds like your decision not to have kids was based on budget only, not on demeanor of the event. If that’s the case and your Bridesmaid or Best Man is really blowing a stack, I would offer to her that she can bring her child if she wouldn’t mind contributing to the cost of his attendance. Otherwise, with these types of rules you have to go all or nothing.

We are doing no kids less for budget and more for the wedding being in the evening, dinner being served late, and it being very formal. It won’t be a child friendly environment and we don’t want bored kiddos having tantrums/crying/dipping fingers in the cake (I’ve seen it happen!)

There will be one child at our wedding, but he is 9 yrs old so to me that was old enough to know not to knock over the wine glasses or to throw a crying fit in the middle of the ceremony. He is also FI’s first cousin and is very well behaved. It seems odd to me that not only is this person you’ve never met coming, but is also bringing along a whole train of people. I know your father is paying but you may want to talk to him. I have a couple of half brothers that I hardly know and I know if they were to show up to my wedding it would be a drama fest.

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